[tri-wings] Re: grieveing

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  I had a prenatal diagnosis so we had
much time to prepare for this loss.  I am not sure if that makes it any
easier or not.  But I did expect it to happen.  i lost my son on March 3,
2006.  He died during birth.
Be gentle with yourself.  Life will be very different now.  You may find
yourself driving to the wrong place or things like that.  I know that
sometimes I am supposed to go to the store and instead i drive home.  My
mind just wanders off.
There are no words that will take away your pain.  I know its what everyone
says but time does heal.  You will never forget but you will learn to deal a
little better.  For me I have had a lot of time off of work just to grieve.
This has been really beneficial.  It has allowed me to really process all of
this.
We also took a vacation.  I think getting my mind of what happened helped us
too.
I find that I forget a lot of things now.  I dont know why.  Probably
because this has been such a tramatic experience.  I developed preeclampsia
at 32wks so we had to induce.  Tyler had t-18 and could not make it through
the birth at such a young age.
Anyhow the trauma of all this has caused my mind to do funny things.  I dont
have the memory like I used to.  I forget a lot of things.  Perhaps its my
minds way of protecting me from remembering all the trauma of this.

Talk about your baby as much as you want.  I think this will also help in
the process for you.  Do things for you child if you want.  Like plant a
garden for your baby if you want to.  Those are just ideas if you are up to
it.  Some people like to do those things, others dont.  Either way is fine.

Take care,

Erin
mom to tyler joel 3/3/06 t-18 angel

-----Original Message-----
From: tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of
Rickyrams1999@xxxxxxx
Sent: Saturday, May 27, 2006 5:33 PM
To: tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [tri-wings] grieveing


I was wondering if anyone had any advice on losing a baby.  Our son  was
born
April 12, 2006.  He was 6 lb. 13 oz. and 19 inches.  We  didn't know he had
trisomy 13.  When he was born he had four fingers and  six toes, other than
that he looked like every other baby.  His main  problem was his breathing.
He
was transferred to a nicu.  He was only  intebated for a day before he was
placed on the lowest dose or regular oxygen.  He even began feedings.  The
doctor
told me it would take 7-11 days to get  the chromosome tests back.  The
doctor
did ultra sounds of his brain and  internal organs and said they were
functioning normally. Six days after he was  born they decided to take him
of the
oxygen and let him breathe on his own. He  did so well for a couple of
hours.
The next day we got the results and we  were told to prepare to let him go.
That night at 6:15 pm he passed away  in my arms.  I had to return to work
so we
could take care of  everything.  Every time I go into work, just for a
second
I forget and find  my self going to the nicu instead of my floor.  I would
really appreciate any advice that anyone may  have.

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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