[tri-wings] fwd :The Wish List

Had this emailed to me and thought you would like to read it.For all who have 
"friends" and relatives that show there true colours when it comes to 
mentioning our angels......something very close to my own heart as I lost many 
"friends" and  my relatives just dont talk about my angels...but I replaced my 
friends with true friends who know the hurt that I live with and who mention my 
angels....read on  and pass it 
on................................................................................................

 

The Wish List               

1.    I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby.  The truth is just 
because you never saw my baby doesn't mean he or she doesn't deserve your 
recognition.

2.    I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't think it 
was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby.  The truth is I need to cry 
and talk about my baby with you.  Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal.

3.     I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once.  The truth is 
if you do, it reassures me that you haven't forgotten and that you do care and 
understand.

4.     I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my baby.  The 
truth is I love my baby and need to talk about him or her.

5.     I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that you are 
thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.

6.     I wish you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory for 
me.  The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my baby, the 
dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby are all loving 
memories.  Yes there are bad memories too but please understand that it's not 
all like that.

7.     I wish you wouldn't pretend that my baby never existed.  The truth is we 
both know I had a baby growing inside me.

8.     I wish you wouldn't judge me because I am not acting the way you think I 
should be.  The truth is grief is a very personal thing and we are all 
different people who deal with things differently.

9.     I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or if I 
have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it.  
The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to act.

10.     I wish you wouldn't stay away from me.  The truth is loosing my baby 
doesn't mean I'm contagious.  By staying away you make me feel isolated, 
confused, and like it is my fault.

11.     I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with" in a few 
weeks, months, or years for that matter.  The truth is it may get easier with 
time but I will never be "over" this.

12.    I wish you wouldn't think that my baby wasn't really a baby and it was 
blood and tissue or a fetus.  The truth is my baby was a human life.  My baby 
had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face.  I have seen my baby's body and 
face.  My baby was a real person.

13.     My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby 
died and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days for me.  The 
truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me 
on these days.

14.     I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me.  The truth is 
I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again.  If 
you keep waiting for me to get back to "normal" you will stay frustrated.  I am 
a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values.  Please try to get 
to know the real me?.maybe you'll still like me.

15.    I wish you wouldn't tell me I could have another baby.  The truth is I 
want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace this baby.  Babies aren't 
interchangeable.  Besides, you do not know whether we have fertility problems 
too.

16.     I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby 
or being near me.  When you do, I can see it.  The truth is it's not fair to 
make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.

17.     I wish you wouldn't think that you'll keep away because all my friends 
and family will be there for me.  The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing 
and I am often left with no one.

18.     I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women, and 
hearing about other babies and young children are uncomfortable for me.  The 
truth is I feel jealous, sad, and in pain.

19.     I wish you wouldn't say that it's nature's way of telling me something 
was wrong with my baby, and my baby wasn?t meant to be.  The truth is my baby 
was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying.

20.     I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say 
"next time things will be okay".  The truth is how do you know?  What will you 
say if it happens to me again? 

big hugs

 



Mandy , mum to Matthew 9,Charlotte 8, and my two angels Gareth (t18 ^i^ Nov 
14th'99) and Dominic (cystic hygroma ^i^ July 23 '00)     England .UK .

www.geocities.com/baby2angels2000

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
- George Bernard Shaw






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