[tri-wings] Re: bad day

Loads and loads and loads of love, our thoughts are with you. Take care of
yourself...
Sophie
Mum to Rosa full T18 +CH, stillborn 18 December 2004
London, UK

-----Original Message-----
From: tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of pam&darrell
Sent: 19 April 2005 18:32
To: tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [tri-wings] bad day


i am not sure where to begin right now, but i need to just get this out of
my system.  on sunday, my daughter kira turned three.  we had a great party
for her, she had a blast and so did we.  it was not until today that it hit
me with full force-tyler will never have a birthday.  i can barely type,
this is so hard.  i have been hit so hard with a fresh wave of grief.   it
is not one of those gentle ones that roll over you.  it is like a wall of
water, like those pictures of tsunamis  (sp?) or tornados that are
relentless, pounding and inescapable.  we just got another billing notice in
respect to tyler as well asking for payment or an update of our child's ohip
(health card) number.  darrell had to call and say he had died.  the woman
on the phone was crying.  it was hard for my husband.  i have done it before
so i know how hard it is.  darrell has been having bizzare dreams about
visiting tyler in remote hospitals and other dreams where everything is a
disaster- people are d
 ying everywhere, danger is everwhere.  wow.
i love life and have so much to live for.  i have things i want to do.  i
want to feel joy again without impediment and i am so afraid i never will.
i loved my son more than anything, i would give anything to have hime alive
but i know it won't happen.  i want my life to be better, to change things
to honour his memory but some days i have no strength.  i do not really
think i have a point here, i just needed to say some things..
as always, thanks for listening.  i am hoping that by letting this out i can
live a bit today.
pam, darrell, t 13 angel tyler and kira
elora ontario
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line


                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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