[tri-wings] Re: Trying to cope

Nikia,
I am so sorry for your loss.  I have a friend whom I am close with, she may
pop in here, that also lost her son to trisomy 13 back in March.  She too
did not have a prenatal diagnosis and she has a little girl who is 3 years
old.  Perhaps she can offer some encouraging words to you.  Her name is
Kaylene and her son Mathias lived for 5 days too.

I did have a prenatal diagnosis so I knew what to expect. I dont know if
that makes it easier or not.  But i think losing a child no matter what
hurts very badly.
I lost my son on March 3rd to trisomy 18.
Time has healed but I think of him every day. Unfortunately, there are no
magic words that make all the pain go away. this place helps a lot.  Just
let it all out, with others who understand. We give a lot of cyper hugs.
I have been fortunate enough to meet my friend Kaylene and she lives close
to me.  We have walked this journey together. Our little boys are friends in
heaven.  And they decided it was really important for their mommies to meet.
So, we did and i am very thankful for that.

Coping takes time.  You learn a new normal.  So, please dont think things
have to go back to the way they were pre-pregnancy.  Your life is forever
changed.  Your little boy will always be a part of your family.

I could not image my husband being gone during this time.  I really hope you
can find a good support group of friends to help you through this.  Do you
have close connections with church or family who can be there?

Erin
mom to Tyler
3/3/06t18 angel




-----Original Message-----
From: tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of Nikia Grant
Sent: Friday, September 22, 2006 12:16 PM
To: Tri-Wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [tri-wings] Trying to cope


Hello.  My name is Nikia and my husband and I lost our son, Jason, to
Trisomy 13 on September 5, 2006.  Jason was born September 2 and weighed
4lbs and 14 ounces.  He was such a handsome little guy!  When he was born,
the doctors wisked him away.  I never got to hold him that day or the next
one.  I didn't understand what could be wrong seeing how I went to every
doctor's appointment, ate right, exercised, and got plenty of rest.  The
doctor never suspected any type of problems. I am really having a hard time
with this.  I want to be strong for my family, but I find it really hard at
times.  My husband's name is Terrence and we have a 2 year old named Kalia.
I really want her to be okay and not see me being so sad all the time.
She's like a sponge and picks up on every emotion and every action.  Jason
was here only 3 days and already he has had a very big impact on so many
people in so many ways.  It's amazing.  I know that God doesn't make
mistakes and we will never
 understand why he had to go, still, it all hurts really bad.  Worst of all,
my husband is in the Army and he's set to be deployed in November for a
whole year!  How exactly am I supposed to deal with all this?  I would
appreciate if anyone would write me back.
  Nikia Grant
  Dallas, Tx

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                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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