Some of my favorites: 1. Its not like you had him for months. You only had him four days. 2. God doesn't give you anymore than you can handle (oh please!) 3. At least you won't have to buy him any Christmas presents (not said to me but to a woman that I met at a support meeting) There really isn't anything to say to a parent that is suffering from the loss of a child. The best thing to do is to allow parents to talk about their angels and to encourage it as well. Joyce, mom to Zachary 11/15/00-11/20/00, Matthew 04/24/02 (1 already!) wife to Alan -----Original Message----- From: tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of Mandy Sent: Friday, September 26, 2003 2:31 PM To: tri-wings Subject: [tri-wings] To say or not to say......that's the question!!! Can't really think of a new therapy question at the moment but one thought that I did have is If we were to compile a list of things to say and things not to say to bereaved parents, what would you like to see on there? I know there are a few lists already in existence but from your own experience what do you think is a good thing to say and what should be avoided like the plague ? hugs Mandy, mum to Matthew(11),Charlotte (9) and my two angels Gareth (t18 ^i^ 14/11/99)and Dominic (CH ^i^ 23/7/00) and my little pumpkin seed EDD 19 Apr 2004,England,UK http://www.geocities.com/baby2angels2000 Some stop chasing rainbows,for they think they aren't real, But they aren't something you can touch,they're something you must feel..." Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows www.trisomyonline.org Families Helping Families On-line Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows www.trisomyonline.org Families Helping Families On-line