----- Original Message ----- From: "Mandy" <baby2angels2000@xxxxxxxx> > If we were to compile a list of things to say and things not to say to bereaved parents, what would you like to see on there?< I think most of them have already been listed, but there is one that got me good. My boss told me that I needed to look at it as if I had "dodged the bullet"! Meaning that rasing a handicapped child would be worse than death. He also said that I should be happy because I got what I wanted - because throughout the pregnancy we had said that we just wanted to see her alive. (My respect level for him declined substantialy - eventually leading to my current unemployment status :-) ) One of the good things that I never heard and longed to hear was "Congratulations on the birth of your baby" - that part seemed to get forgotten. lotsoflove Deanna~~~.~ wife to Mike, mom to Nicole 15, Jake 11, and Jessica 5/4/02 (our precious angel -t18) and our special BIG little bundle arriving 10/23/03!!! Coal Valley, IL USA Meet Jessica @ http://home.att.net/~warpehoski I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here. Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows www.trisomyonline.org Families Helping Families On-line