[tri-wings] To much Stress sooo liittlle time! Very long

Hi everybody !!

My prayer's are with the new families who have had to join us. My heart aches 
for all of who are expecting again,and those who's children have been sick.  We 
have had our share of "sickies" around here.  Maximilian our precious 2yr old 
has a diaper rash that has burned him raw and bloody. OUCH !!! I have tried 
everything. I mean everything....after all I'm an experienced Mom of soon to be 
God willing 5 living children. Today is his 9th day and thing's are looking 
better.  Thank You God.  Poor little guy as soon as he goes he cries.....Breaks 
my heart.  Brittany's allergies are out of control... not as bad as Ranee's... 
but she has two swollen eye's can't breathe and is just miserable.  Rebecca 
chose to become "out of control" last night. I struggled with her for almost 
2hrs. Anybody ever have to "hold" their child in a "blanket" hold ?  My hair 
was drenched with sweat and my heart was just racing.  Who needs to exercise 
when you have children like mine.!! lol The biggest problem with kid's who are 
developmentaly delayed is that there is no reasoning. They have to work it out 
of their system.  Meds don't help when she's like this. My job is to keep her 
safe and stop her from harming herself or those within her range.  She has 
taken to biting herself (nice with braces on),and beating her face or punching 
her bedroom wall or window. Thankfuly we have everything documented so IF some 
unsuspecting soul "thinks" she's truly being abused when she 's not we have 
help.  One of her favorite phrases is that she's being abused. Nice when your 
leaving someplace when "she" doesn't want too. I wouldn't trade in her for 
anything in the world I am exhausted some day's though. She's alway's very 
remorseful the next day.  Too many shunt revision's when she was younger have 
taken away the high hopes we once had. There's no way to pinpoint what will 
trigger her to lose control. We've looked at everything.  I was even told I'm a 
"good Mother".  So I can't be blamed on the Mother thing. LOL

With all the talk about testing I HAD to have a scan.  They worked me in at the 
Perinatologist today.  I called this morning explaining what I was thinking and 
feeling. My reg Dr. knew I wanted the nuchael scan done.  After reading Karen's 
excellent explaination's on what's happening with Atousa I didn't sleep much 
last night. Way to much on my little mind.  Well I had a level 2 scan and 
everthing looks good. Way more detailed than any other scan I've had done. I 
left with even greater peace.  I'll still go back on the 9th of Sept. I'll also 
have the AFP/ Triple screen done. At least now I know in greater detail (Thank 
You Karen) the values. The lab that will be getting my test see's alot more 
than the small hospital I'll deliver at.  All in all at this point though 
thing's look very good.  This office heard about me month's ago when Magdalena 
was born. The U/S tech attend's the same church as we do.  My "story" has 
traveled....after 5 U/S they just couldn't believe that Maggie's T-18 was 
missed.  I showed them the U/S pictures that I have and they all said what poor 
quality they were.  I took it a step further at that point and asked about a 
"litagation".  We have one. This tech was grossly neg. along with my Phy's for 
allowing her interpretation's.  She's not a Dr.
The only thing I'm going to do is write a letter for the FDA to investigate 
her.  The language here in USA is quite strong against using U/S for 
recreational purposes.  This same tech has a business using U/S for " Keepsake 
Photo's".  I strongly feel she should not be allowed to continue.  I also have 
come to the conclusion in my school of "Hard Knocks" NEVER EVER volunteer for 
anything in the Med Field.  Twice now It's been bad!!! Only my great "Irish 
Luck".  Must be the French has taken over and my "luck" has gone dry. lol At 
least I have my sense of humor and I can laugh...better than crying....

The kid's were so excited when I told them all looks well at this point. My 7yr 
old Cameron... who didn't cry over Maggie...was the sweetest....he said "you 
mean we get to keep her!!!" I said I'm not completely sure but that thing's 
look good.... Oh the look in his baby blue eye's....wouldv'e melted any Mother 
(to be the fair to the Daddy's here)/Father's heart.

Well if your still reading this THANK'S....I had a wonderful respose back to 
all the other news floating around and Max shut my computer off the other day 
when I left the room....Stinker!!! He thought he was "helping".  Can't fault 
him on that.

Pete I know just what you have meant....I felt that way after my first at the 
young age of 20. Spina Bifida knows no barriers...I was taking vitamins and 
eating pretty decent for a college kid working several job's. When I was pg 
with Britt it wasn't until after her birth that I enjoyed. I became too 
comfortable with just U/S and was blown away by Maggie's "miss".  We have done 
well ( if that's such a thing) but as you all know that roller coaster ride can 
get wild at times when you least suspect it. Maggie was gone for only 3 month's 
when we conceived this newest blessing.  I honestly wanted to lose all the 
weight from Magdalena before we had one more...Well here I am. Good thing I've 
alway's wanted a family. lol So much for great leg's and a tiny waist for 
awhile. Oh well I've heard that's the badge of Motherhood!!!!

Well I had better get off to sleep...tomorrow we feed 1000+ people and I'm 
already wiped out...too much excitement for this "old woman" lol

God Bless,

Dawn B wife to Stan Mother to a whole bunch of great blessing's including the 
one's in heaven with Magdalena being the newest one T- 18 2-13/3-09-02 and our 
newest God willing due 2-2003


                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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