[tri-wings] Re: Therapy-Jan

What good has come from the birth/death of your child?

You all need to know what a comfort you are to me - up front.  Although I am
kind of quiet <most of you see I speak up every now and then>, I have felt
strange in some ways being here because it's been soooo long since Jordan
was born....<a note here - the pain does soften...the edges are not sharp
anymore, the memories sweet instead of rendering grief-filled
emotions>...and I tend to feel slightly out of place - only of my own doing.

The question, Jan, was one of those that I had to wait to see what others
wrote before I could answer.  You see, my ex husband, <Jordan's Daddy> and
his family were very wealthy people.  There was so much they could have done
at the time - donate to Baylor's NICU, to "Littlest Angels" (an adoptive
home for children with birth defects at the time> - anything!  But, you
see - it was SO traumatic for me ... so undescribably unrealistic that we
could have a child with problems such as Jordan had - and then lose him....;
I had asked that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to "Littlest
Angels"...whether they received any, I still don't know.   I guess I was
waiting to see if there was anyone out there that ... really didn't "do" or
"donate"....; my ex husband's family - in memory of their grandchild - chose
to do nothing but pretend it didn't happen; and I allowed it.

Our family handled my son's birth and death as we could at the time; with
alot of grief and disbelief.  We also were dealing with the fact that I am a
carrier - and all of those implications.   What my son's birth - and
subsequent death - DID do, was make ME more aware of children with
disabilities...<even now, NO ONE around me is allowed to even ATTEMPT to
talk like they might have once had a cleft lip or palate - in jest>.  I no
longer fear the unknown - children with disabilities are not something to be
feared, they are truly God's gift to special parents....

Yes, we planted a beautiful crepe myrtle in the corner of the yard...in
Jordan's memory.  And yes, Mom keeps as abreast of the latest in "genetics"
as possible, for our babies future <as Trisomy most CERTAINLY will visit us
again, with 2 definite carriers in the family, not yet of child-bearing
age> - And, 16 years later, I brng my head out of the sand and find this
wonderfully supportive and loving Wings List...full of people EVERYWHERE who
have felt as we have...

All in all, Jordan's brief little beautiful life brought me alot more than
just the experience...; and possibly, in the future, will enable me to talk
locally with parents going thru what we went thru <note to self - email the
hospitals with my name and number!>.  His legacy goes on...his "kitten cry"
can still be heard when all is quiet and he fills my thoughts... his
beautiful downy soft skin, the one-eye he would open; yes, it was just
yesterday.

If Jordan's passing helped anyone, it helped me - his mom. It opened my eyes
to so many things, and my heart to so many more people....and, it gave us
Christopher - born just 1 year and 6 days after Jordan - a vibrant, happy,
healthy and beautiful young man now at 15.  I am sure that Jordan watches
over us all these days as we are already leading seperate lives.  And he is
proud, as we are so very proud to have known him.

Teri
Proud Mom of John (19, Ole' Miss Freshman), Chris (15) aka
Motocross/Wrestling Man, Victoria (8), aka Tori the Terror and our angel
brother and son, Jordan Nicholas (^i^ 04/01-04/13/85, T-13)
>
>                   Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
>                        www.trisomyonline.org
>                   Families Helping Families On-line

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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