[tri-wings] Thanks

Hi,
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone at the SOFT conference who welcomed us. 
 It's been only a little over two weeks since we lost Mieko. Thought it was 
overwhelming in some ways, but it was wonderful to meet such caring parents who 
stay committed to their children and other families year after year. It gave us 
hope to see the parents  who've gone through the same loss and are still 
reaching out.  It also gave us some solace that our little girl will be 
remembered by such a special community.

We just returned home from a long trip and now it's time to get back to 
reality. As you all know, we have a very long road ahead of us and I know I'll 
be asking a lot of questions here.  It was great to see so many people I've 
known from the tri-family list and get  hugs at the conference. The advice and 
support has meant so much, even before Mieko was born. 

Now, this new journey seems harder than anything we've faced before. I'm filled 
with so many emotions and just getting through each day is my goal right now. I 
still have thoughts that this wasn't supposed to happen and that it didn't 
really happen.  One of my darkest thoughts right now is that we didn't do 
enough for her.  You know how intense it is taking care of these kids.  I feel 
like we let our guard down and should've seen the cardiologist sooner before 
the pulmonary hypertension increased. I also feel like the docs let us down. 
But ultimately, we were the ones who knew her best and should have been more 
aggressive.  I'm Ok with how she lived, she was such a happy little girl and 
even how she died since she did not suffer.  But, it's the when. I know 
everyone wants more time.  I know at some point I'll have to let this go. But, 
it's hard right now.  I want to focus on the good memories, but I"m just not 
there yet.


Thanks for listening. I would appreciate anything you have to say.


Maya
Mom to Mieko,4, full T18 became an Angel 7/11/08, expecting in October




      
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