[tri-wings] Re: Stacie and Hailey Grace

Kathryn.Singery@xxxxxxxxxxxxx wrote:I am going
> to tell you this
> story, and then I am going to have to wrestle the
> monster back, and
> replace him with the good fairy...that way I can
> live every day without
> the 'what if's'

Wow.  As usual I'm really behind reading my messages
because sometimes I find it overwhelming & upsetting-
but tonight I was feeling good, so I dove into over
1000 messages.  I read a couple then skipped ahead a
few pages just to see what was going on from subject
lines.  I am now sobbing.  Kathryn, your story touched
my heart & broke it at the same time.  THank you for
sharing that- both versions.  I know what you mean
now.  What you say out loud & what you choose to
remember.  I am trying so hard to remember good
things.  I have little memory of the days after we
lost her.  I remember odd things at odd times.  Just
the other day I remember the day that I spilled a
bottle on her because I hadn't screwed the nipple on-
good thing she was sitting up ready to eat because I
tipped it & it went all down the front of her.  Had to
clean her up & change her outfit- I think I got a bit
of a nasty look from her.  Not my best Mommy moment. 
And I don't know what made me think of it.  I can
still picture her little face when we would go to
sleep at night & I would just watch her until I fell
asleep.  I guess I'm wrestling my own monster into a
closet & I really want it to stay there.  It's the
happy things that I want to remember.  If all I have
left are memories, they should at least make me smile.
 Again- I want to thank you- I can only imagine how
difficult that must have been.  I'm going to go grab a
kleenex & have a smoke then go to bed, maybe there
will be a sweet little girl in my dreams, with
beautiful big green eyes, trying to hold my hand with
her crooked little fingers! Boy I miss her. 

=====

Stacie

Mom to Alex (4), Zachary (9 months old) and my beloved little peanut, Hailey 
Grace, T-18 (8.20.02 - 4.14.04).  Wife to Kevin.  Living in Port St. Lucie, FL


















                
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