[tri-wings] Singery update

This is a long overdue update!  I have been following so many threads,
thinking, YES, I can relate to that!  Especially the one about not
posting....so often I feel disempowered by the grief that I feel for those
who have lost angels (((hugs))) or just don't feel that what I am going
through at that time I nearly as important as what is happening on the list.
And of course, time!

For those of you who remember, I resigned from work just before my little
pumpkin was due.  The pregnancy was filled with the doubts and fears that
only mom's in our position could identify with, I'm sure.  But be that as it
may, Matthew was born on May 9 at 2-34pm, weighing in at 3900grams and 55cms
long!  However, the run up to his birth was very stressful, as my mom had
taken ill, and was operated on at midnight on the same day that he was born.
At the time they gave her a 10% chance of survival....:-(  what had happened
was that she initially was diagnosed with high blood pressure, then had a
fall after which they said there was no fracture, then was sent home with a
walker, etc etc.  Anyway, about two weeks after that, she was in serious
pain, and was taken back to hospital.....they said it was just muscle pain
(didn't x-ray again) and just kept giving her physiotherapy. When my sister
and I went down to see her (she lives a few hours away) we were horrified!
She was a little skeletal thing looking so bewildered and afraid! She is
normally such a feisty old duck, with prickly opinions on everything! So
this was such a shock.  Well that was the Friday before Matthew was born, so
we bundled her in the car and brought her back home to my sister's house.
By that stage she was barely able to communicate, totally incontinent and
immobile.  So we nursed her through the weekend, and tried to find suitable
frail care for her. (which we didn't) On the Monday she seemed a bit better,
but I had a feeling that she perhaps had a blockage in her bowel.......but
because there was no nausea, I wasn't sure.  We had contacted the doctor to
make a house call, because she was not able to travel. Now please bare in
mind that my mom is 4f9inches, and weighed about 25 kgs at this point. The
doctor did not make the first appointment or the second (grrrr) and by
Tuesday she was nauseas. My sister took me home (Matthew was due the next
day) and took mom to hospital.  Well...........the x-rays showed a 1cm gape
in the BREAK in her hip (sob) and her bloods were all over the
place........white blood count way up, in kidney failure and liver failure!!
So they needed to operate, but didn't want to because mom was so
frail......catch 22.

Eventually they agreed, but had to transfer her because there was no ICU at
the hospital that she was at.  So they transferred her and hence the
midnight op.   At 3 in the morning they then transferred her to another
hospital, because there was no bed in the ICU there...sigh!  anyway, she was
then in a coma on a ventilator, had a heart attack, was on dialysis etc etc
over the course of the next 3 weeks.  Apparently an abscess on her bowel had
burst which had caused the problem? Eventually they decided to do a trachy,
and I think something went wrong there?? The next day she was incredible
swollen around her neck and face and they took the trachy out "because she
wasn't breathing properly"....from then on she went down, and died 20 days
after Matthew was born, without ever having seen him..:-((

So we have had that to deal with as well, and on top of that, my second
daughter got married last week, so there has been the stress of that.  I was
responsible for making the bridesmaid's dress, as well as the flowergirl's
dress, and the page boy's waist coat and bow tie.......sigh!! not much time,
considering that I had a new baby, and was spending every day at the
hospital with mom........

So if you have read this far.....CONGRATULATIONS!  

I fell like I have been through the wringer, emotion wise, and the hormones
don't help, do they?  BUT, as I read through some of the posts, my heart
breaks for the people going through their own trials...........even though I
don't often post, I always say a prayer for each of you.

I do have some pics of Matthew, if anyone would like to see them, please
email me.

Right..........back into my box

Much love

Kathy s

Mom to Cara, Nickola, Timothy, Daniel, Rebecca (^i^ T18) and Matthew


                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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