[tri-wings] Re: SV: insensitive relatives- rambling

In a message dated 7/26/01 4:38:02 PM Central Daylight Time, 
Thebonehamfamily@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx writes:


> if
> she had breathed just a few breaths-whether that would have made a
> 

Sharon,

It's almost like she isn't really their grandaughter because she was 
stillborn (gosh, I HATE that word).
I wonder sometimes if this is just their (mine and Amy's families) way of 
handling Jessica's loss. I know that they go out to the cemetary to visit her 
but they don't like to talk about it. If the subject comes up we hear "I know 
you don't want to hear this, but you're probably better off."   NO CRAP!!!!!! 
 If he knows that we don't want to hear it ( and he definately knows), then 
why does he insist on saying it? I know that they go out to the cemetary on 
Jessie's birthday......why can't they just once tell us that they are 
thinking about their grandaughter? What is the big deal? Just because she 
isn't here doesn't mean that she never existed or that she is any less 
important than their other grandchildren. And on the other side if I mention 
Jessica's name then the comparison always comes up of losing her parish 
priest. Granted, he was a very special man and like a member of the family 
but he was in his late 70's and was not her child. What is the comparison? Am 
I being unreasonable and close-minded when I think that there are no 
similarities. I know that her and dad miss him and I definately don't want to 
take anything away from their memory of him.....but don't compare his death 
to the loss of our child!

Jim, husband of Amy, daddy of Mandy- 8, Katie- 4, and Jessica Nicole- our 
precious angel who we love dearly ( full T18, 4-21-99 )
Pensacola, Florida U.S.A.
visit us at:    http://www.challengenet.com/~trisomy/french.htm      
ICQ #   52193165             AOL IM :   jimamy199           Yahoo IM :   
jpfrench99 



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