[tri-wings] Remembering Jessica

Hi all,

I'm sorry that I've been MIA for so long.  Got
arrested in Mexico for spitting the tequilla shot
instead of swallowing it.  Improper use of alcohol. 
Should have opted for the Captain!  Spent two weeks in
the Mexican prison.  Joined the Mexican underground
and was properly taught how to swallow tequilla.  Now
I am in good standing with their government and
welcome to come back.

I kept thinking I was going to get back with you guys
but you know how hectic it is when you first get back
from vacation.  Then silly me, I think I have to read
every post (nourotic (sp)) I know.  So eventually when
I got back to it and got caught up, I found out that I
could get through much quicker if I just kept my trap
shut.  I feel guilty if I respond to some and not all
that I feel I should - make sense?  So responding to
none made me feel less guilty.  THEN - life got busy
and I got off track again.  On impulse we decided to
buy a new house, even though ours has far to go before
we list it - can you say double payments, one income!
OUCH.
So this  is my current excuse for not keeping up with
everything and not joining back in.

There has been a price to pay of course.  I miss you
all terribly and BS that can result, but I had no idea
the impact that you all have on me.  Yesterday was
harder than any other, and I couldn't figure out why. 
Well lets see, #1 - we are selling the house that has
Jessie's lilac bush, Christmas tree and Garden(which a
lot of sweat and tears went into). #2 - I haven't
vented with all of you so it is built up.  We went to
the cemetery last night and released three balloons as
well as the now traditional "butterfly" balloon. 
Before releasing each one, Rylee had to kiss and
squeeze(hug) them.  It was so cute to see her little
hand print on the balloon as it went up, knowing that
her big sister would get them.  We had to leave when
she started climbing the tombstones and trying to ride
them like a horsy and saying "naa naa" - tears and
laughter.  Not exactly the birthday party Jessie
should be having, but we still smiled.  I think too it
was so much harder because we are constantly reminded
by Rylee what we are missing with Jess.  Ok, I'll
stop- the keyboard is getting soggy it just hurts so
bad.

ANYWAY - thank you all so much for remembering us. 
You are the best, I have picked through and seen most
of your messages. - My sister and mom are the only
ones that acknowledged her - not sure I have friends
outside of you guys or not (I  know: they haven't
experienced it, so they don't get it) - so I will try
to pop in on occasion as time allows.  Rylee doesn't
take as long of naps now, so that hurts alot of my
'work/play' time and right now work seems to be
dominating.

Happy birthday to Fawna & Zion as well, and anyone
else that shares this week.  Kammie and Hannah, I hope
you have great days as well.  I think of you guys all
the time.  Now back to semi lurkdom - have to do some
Finance stuff and get back to getting this house on
the market. 

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU again!

lotsofluv
Deanna ~~~~
Mom to Nicole 16, Jake 12, Jessica (our beautiful T18 angel) 5/04/02 and
Rylee 1 year old, 10/20/03!!!
Wife to Mike
Meet Jessica @ http://home.att.net/~warpehoski


I live in my own little world.  But it's ok - They know me here.



You've got to live on the edge and say what the heck - - push enter!!


                
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