[tri-wings] Re: Religion/ Something to think about......

> Sheila, I'd say that was an excellent answer and maybe the only reason no
> else says it is because they feel awkward too.We live in a world where
> mentioning pregnancy loss or the death of a child is considered taboo. I
> think that once we do open up and tell of our angels then we become more
and
> more aware of others who have been blessed with angels too


I feel like I am in a church because I have been reading and saying "Amen" a
lot with this thread!  I have met so many women that have lost a child and
we now can cry together and remember them.  I am still working on my wording
when people ask me how many children I have...I love your response Mandy
because it makes it easier for the other person to focus on where they want
to lead the conversation.  My fear also is that Michelle's memory is
forgotten so I never want to leave her out but I don't want make people talk
about her and feel uncomfortable.

My most uncomfortable times have come when someone remembers that I had a
baby and asks about Michelle not knowing that she died almost a year ago.
Has happened twice and both times I felt so bad for the other person.  I
always let them know how honored I am to talk about her and thank them for
asking.   I hope it helps because I really do like talking about Michelle
and some of the lessons she taught me.

Ann mom to Sarah (12), Beth (10), Mark (7), Brian (5)
& beloved Michelle T18 (4/1/03-10/26/03) wife to Joel
Overland Park, Kansas   USA

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He
didn't trust me so much."
Mother Teresa




> My answer is "I have 2 sons and one daughter here with me and two sons
> waiting for me in Heaven." People will then either ignore the "in Heaven"
> bit and talk about my living children or ask about my angels and I really
do
> leave the conversation to go in the way they then lead it but at least I
> have mentioned all of my children.
>
> Other phrases you could try are :-    (insert your number in place of
> mine.....)
> "I have 5 children; 2 perfect, and 3 still here!"
>
>  "I have 3 living children and 2 who live on in my heart."
>
> "I have 3 living children." This one  leaves the door open if the other
> person wishes talk about why you say living.
>
> People do react in different ways and some are sometimes less than nice
ways
> so do be forewarned and fore armed if you are going to adopt this
> approach.....sometimes it hurts more than we bargained for to acknowledge
> their existence :-(
> Some reasons that helped me to come to my decision on telling everyone at
> all times that I have five children are it helps them stay alive in other
> people's hearts and minds( I am so scared that I will be the only one who
> remembers them),it allows others to know that sometimes babies do die(I
> thought they all lived until five years ago),it teaches my other children
> that they are not the only ones (Matt and Charlotte know that but Alfie
will
> learn over time)and no matter what, I'll always remember their brothers.I
> hope that,it will teach them that I would always say their name and
remember
> them  if ,God forbid, they should die too.
>
> Not mentioning our angels names is *never* *never* *never* IMHO
> disrespectful .I fail to see how anyone who loves them so much can be
> anything but respectful in whatever they choose to do but if you do
struggle
> with telling others but feel inwardly hurt when you are unable to say
their
> name aloud then maybe a silent"I love you(name  of angel)"whispered after
> you list the living children would help.
> It really is a "go with how you feel" situation and please please don't
> think that just because I do it it will be ok for all...it hurts whichever
> way round we choose.
> Hope this helps
> hugs
> Mandy,wife to Baz, mum to Matthew(12),Charlotte (10) , Gareth (t18 ^i^
> 14/11/99)and Dominic (CH ^i^ 23/7/00) and my little pot of gold at the end
> of a very long rainbow
> ,Alfie( 19 Apr 04),
> step mum to Katie(^i^) Ed (15)and Lucy(14 )England,UK
>
> LIFE IS NOT ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS BUT, INSTEAD, LEARNING TO
> DANCE IN THE RAIN
>
>                   Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
>                        www.trisomyonline.org
>                   Families Helping Families On-line
>

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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