[tri-wings] Re: Religion/ Something to think about......

Sheila wrote
I sometimes end up with "I have 3 living grandchildren and one angel."  And
that sounds so strange because I don't hear others
> saying things like that. <<

Sheila, I'd say that was an excellent answer and maybe the only reason no
else says it is because they feel awkward too.We live in a world where
mentioning pregnancy loss or the death of a child is considered taboo. I
think that once we do open up and tell of our angels then we become more and
more aware of others who have been blessed with angels too...we are all just
too reserved sometimes to mention them!! I don't want anyone to feel that
I'm saying we must do this and I would say that you have to search within
yourself to find the answer you feel most comfortable with .

My answer is "I have 2 sons and one daughter here with me and two sons
waiting for me in Heaven." People will then either ignore the "in Heaven"
bit and talk about my living children or ask about my angels and I really do
leave the conversation to go in the way they then lead it but at least I
have mentioned all of my children.

Other phrases you could try are :-    (insert your number in place of
mine.....)
"I have 5 children; 2 perfect, and 3 still here!"

 "I have 3 living children and 2 who live on in my heart."

"I have 3 living children." This one  leaves the door open if the other
person wishes talk about why you say living.

People do react in different ways and some are sometimes less than nice ways
so do be forewarned and fore armed if you are going to adopt this
approach.....sometimes it hurts more than we bargained for to acknowledge
their existence :-(
Some reasons that helped me to come to my decision on telling everyone at
all times that I have five children are it helps them stay alive in other
people's hearts and minds( I am so scared that I will be the only one who
remembers them),it allows others to know that sometimes babies do die(I
thought they all lived until five years ago),it teaches my other children
that they are not the only ones (Matt and Charlotte know that but Alfie will
learn over time)and no matter what, I'll always remember their brothers.I
hope that,it will teach them that I would always say their name and remember
them  if ,God forbid, they should die too.

Not mentioning our angels names is *never* *never* *never* IMHO
disrespectful .I fail to see how anyone who loves them so much can be
anything but respectful in whatever they choose to do but if you do struggle
with telling others but feel inwardly hurt when you are unable to say their
name aloud then maybe a silent"I love you(name  of angel)"whispered after
you list the living children would help.
It really is a "go with how you feel" situation and please please don't
think that just because I do it it will be ok for all...it hurts whichever
way round we choose.
Hope this helps
hugs
Mandy,wife to Baz, mum to Matthew(12),Charlotte (10) , Gareth (t18 ^i^
14/11/99)and Dominic (CH ^i^ 23/7/00) and my little pot of gold at the end
of a very long rainbow
,Alfie( 19 Apr 04),
step mum to Katie(^i^) Ed (15)and Lucy(14 )England,UK

LIFE IS NOT ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS BUT, INSTEAD, LEARNING TO
DANCE IN THE RAIN

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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