--- Colleen <springc001@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote: > Nadine, > But it was also exhausting and there were a couple > of nights when I had > serious panic attacks which I'm sure were due in > part to the > exhaustion, PPD anxiety and grief. Mike had some of that also, but it was while he was at work. A couple of days he just had to come home midday. It will get better. > It feels like it will seem > empty and > incomplete. I don't want it to look like we are > "same ol, same ol," > because something very dramatically has changed our > family. I understand your frustration, I always do a christmas poem and insert pictures into it and that year I also had a hard time. The family forced me to do it and so I met up with the Cap'n one night (that's Captain Morgan, to you newbies) and we 'got er done'. Not to promote alcohol or anything like that, just giving my life experience through the whole holidays thing. The first one was really rough guys, there is no sugar coating it. But, you will make it through it and each moment that passes by makes it just a tad bit easier. Just don't try to push it. Do whatever feels right to get through it. BTW, the picture in the hospital would be fine! Don't play other people's games of hiding that fact that Gabriel was here. lotsofluv Deanna ~~~~ Mom to Nicole 17, Jake 13, Jessica (our beautiful T18 angel) 5/04/02 and Rylee 2 !!! Wife to Mike Meet Jessica @ http://home.mchsi.com/~warpehoski I live in my own little world. But it's ok - They know me here. __________________________________ Yahoo! Music Unlimited Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. http://music.yahoo.com/unlimited/ Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows www.trisomyonline.org Families Helping Families On-line