[tri-wings] (Re: It`s two month today) and FIGHT ABOUT X-MAS STOCKINGS

   
It was ugly, but we ended up going away on a vacation
and somehow after that things evened out.
    
  ((( Deanna)))

    
  
  Hi Deanna,
  
  we planing on going on vacation over x-mas. We gonna visit NY and see  the 
parade there. I hope it will help us. We really need to get out of  here.
  
  To my husband, I think he really doesn`t understands me. He said  something 
today to me what really hurt me. The discussion was about our  shopping trip 
yesterday. My hubby did want to buy some stockings and I  told him I want to 
have one for Leyna too. He wasn`t really happy about  it but didn`t explained 
me why. We left the store without stockings. I  asked him today why he didn`t 
liked my idea and he said he didn`t want  to start a tradition we have to 
continue or stopp later. I asked him  how he mant this and he told me " How you 
want to explain this to our  kids later , if we have some. You gonna fill a 
stocking for somebody  who is not here and then the other kids want what is in 
the stocking  and they can`t have it" I told him I just want to have one for 
her  hanging up for to remember her, not filling the stocking. I think since  
she is a member of this family , she should have one too. He got really  angry 
and said. " You are acting like she is still alive!" There 
 I was 
 sitting with tears in my eyes. One word gave another and at the end I  was so 
angry that I told him " And I have the feeling you are trying to  do the 
opposit of it. Putting everything away what could reminde you  about her. So, 
you can forget her and don`t have to think anymore about  what happened!"  I 
felt bad that I told him this, but it is what  honestly feel inside. He can`t 
look at her pictures, he doesn`t talk  about her, if I try he changes the 
subject.It`s just like she never  existed for him and what I`m always hearing 
out of his words is, that  it would be the best way if we never mention her to 
our  future  kids.  he told me I have to explain them why we have christmas  
ornaments on our tree for a baby what our future kids won`t know. I  feel 
really left alone with my grief.
  
  Nadine


  


                
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