[tri-wings] Re: Pam - advise please

(((((((Dear Pam)))))))
I, too, have been treated for depression, anxiety, and panic attacks  
since before we even knew about Hope.  That's a long time, but my  
psychiatrist is, or must be, extra special.  He always knows where  
I'm coming from.  He always listens!!  And he knows what to say to me  
to help me change the situation - either my attitude or the actual  
thing that is bugging me.  He also tells me exactly what the meds are  
doing - which part of the brain they are working on and how they work  
together to make me feel better.   With my arthritis and age, I  
probably won't get off of antidepressants, but I know that they help  
me with pain as well as my emotions.

>  i simply said, " well, he is dead.  he died at four months of  
> age.  i believe we have discussed this."
I think this was a perfect answer for the situation.  Did she  
respond????  Did she even get it???   I think I would have walked out.

Now, as for you, I fully agree with Janina and others that you need  
to find a new doctor.  If you don't want to see a psychiatrist and  
don't want meds, say so.  There are a lot of psychologists, too, who  
will listen and help you find solutions without the use of meds.  But  
Janina laid out some specific questions that you need to put in your  
letter.  I totally agree with her.

> How could she have not known you are a bereaved parent?
> How could she have not reviewed her notes if her memory failed her  
> on details?
> How can she claim to dose with meds if she herself is not  
> accountable for understanding the underlying issues?
> How could she be unprepared for your visit?

And I would also send a copy to the board that oversees her license  
and her job.  Paying someone to listen and provide solutions puts her  
in a very responsible position.  It doesn't sound like she was being  
responsible at all.  I'm so sorry this has had to happen to you.  I  
hope you will feel better after writing a letter.   We are all with  
you in spirit.

Hugs,
Sheila Helleson

MN Grandma to:  Hope (T-18   11-1-1) & Alison (2.5 years but so grown  
up); Cadence (almost 6 & loving every day) and Bridge (almost 3 & all  
boy)
Mom to Cheryl (& Denny);  Wade (& Charity)
Wife to Richard for 35 years

"Shared joy is double joy, and shared sorrow is half-sorrow."   
Swedish Proverb






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