[tri-wings] Re: New therapy question

----- Original Message -----
From: "Mandy" <baby2angels2000@xxxxxxxx>


>> We must have all experienced someone saying something really dumb
following our loss(es) so I thought maybe we could try something along the
lines of
> What is the dumbest thing you heard? <<

Hi all,
Wasn't going to post til I sorted through all the mails, but this one just
got me going - I had to!!  The absolute worst for us was the day after
Jessica died Mike was calling relatives to let them know the arrangements.
The conversation with his brother(from out of town)went something like
this -

Mike: How is Diane(SIL)?
Brother: She's pregnant!
dead silence!

They had just found out - she wasn't even late for her period yet!  I was so
mad that they couldn't wait until at least after the funeral.  I just asked
Mike what they expected our response to be!  At the funeral she couldn't
even talk to me, because it was just too painful for her.  Mike just said
"well you know they did just find out they were pregnant"  I guess it's
different when it your own family.  This caused the only tension between
Mike and I through the whole greiving process.  He was wonderful about
everything, except that - and it made me feel like my feelings didn't count.
Then following that we received phone calls for every Doctor appointment and
sonogram.  One night his brother called at 10:30pm
and told us about the first Doctor visit - he was drunk.  That was the
longest 9 months for us, thank God, we found out that I was pregnant three
days before I saw the baby.  I hate to say it, but it really did help in
dealing with all of it.  That's not to discredit Jessica in anyway, but I
somehow was able to accept that babies do come healthy and it's ok.

I was just talking to my SIL a couple weeks ago and she was telling me how
fast the pregnancy went for her - I just laughed(she complained about
EVERYTHING) and told Mike it may have gone fast for her but it was an
eternity for the rest of the family! (tee hee)

Sorry to those of you that lived this nightmare with me.  I know many of you
have already heard it all.
OK, back in my shell until I get caught up.

lotsoflove
Deanna~~~..~
wife to Mike, mom to Nicole 15, Jake 11, and  Jessica 5/4/02 (our precious
angel -t18) and our special little bundle due Oct. 2003!!!
Coal Valley, IL USA
Meet Jessica @ http://home.att.net/~warpehoski


I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.



                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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