[tri-wings] New therapy question

We must have all experienced someone saying something really dumb following our 
loss(es) so I thought maybe we could try something along the lines of
What is the dumbest thing you heard? how did it make you feel then and what was 
your response  and would it be different now (i.e months/years later).
I know there are similar questions floating around but this one is a product of 
our lying in bed Sunday morning "chat".(ok enough detail LOL)Baz was telling me 
that not long after Katie gained her wings, they donated all of her little toys 
to the doctors surgery and one day he went and was sitting there when some 
stupid guy pulled his daughter away from the toys and told her " those are dead 
children's toys ...don't play with them". Baz was still very much in the early 
stages of his grief,and rather than knocking the guy from one week to the next, 
 he shrank into his seat and said nothing but died inwardly.He said this 
morning that if it had happened now (16 years down the line)he would have dealt 
with it very differently.I asked if he meant he would resort to violence and he 
said no but he would have to say something and not just shrink away.

The dumbest thing anyone said to me (or at least in earshot) was that my boys 
had been taken because of Steve being gay.When I heard it I chose to say 
nothing because I knew I would cry and that wasn't a good idea.Hearing it now 
and I think I would probably ask them why my other two children were allowed to 
live then (same dad).!!!

Not sure if this going to help or hurt or both but feel free to share or to 
keep quiet......no pressure at all
hugs

Mandy, mum to Matthew(10),Charlotte (9) and my two angels Gareth (t18 ^i^ 
14/11/99)and Dominic (CH ^i^ 23/7/00) ,England,UK

http://www.geocities.com/baby2angels2000  

Some stop chasing rainbows,for they think they aren't real,
But they aren't something you can touch,they're something you must feel..." 




                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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