[tri-wings] Re: Mrs Mandy Ryan :)/Corinne

Corinne,
 
My loss is a lot newer than yours, but boy, did you ever sum up all of my
feelings.  I think I have said this before...you would never wish any of
this on your worst enemy, but it sure is nice hearing from others that have
walked in your oh so painful shoes.  Hugs to you!
 
All,
 
Sorry I haven't sent my Christmas cards yet.  I am at yet another class in
Madison, WI freezing my tushy off in the snow!  This Texas girl's teeth are
chattering every few minutes.  I hope to get the cards sent out this
weekend.  Also, mine will probably be a little different from most of
yours...I am sending a family photo.  Since we don't have a web site (funny,
I am a web programmer and I don't have a site of my own!), I thought it
would be nice to show you guys what we look like.  Always nice to put a face
with a name.  For those of you across the big pond, if my card doesn't reach
you by Christmas, I hope you all have a blessed Holiday Season!
 
Brenda,
Wife to Rich, Mommy to Matthew Alexander (almost 2!) and Grace Alexandra ^i^
8/31/03, T-13  
-----Original Message----- 
From: tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx on behalf of Mum2haley@xxxxxxx 
Sent: Thu 12/11/2003 9:33 AM 
To: tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx 
Cc: 
Subject: [tri-wings] Re: Mrs Mandy Ryan :)



Ok, Ill be the first.  I admit, Im more of a lurker than anything.  I dont
post much, but I do read all the time.  This is my second Christmas without
my
angel Haley.  She was born on Sept 10, 02.  Her due date was Jan 26, 03.  I
think that last year I was still in shock.  This year it is so much more
"REAL"
if you know what I mean.  Last year, she shouldnt have even been born yet,
this
year, shed be almost 1.  I am having a very hard time lately dealing with
this.  Somedays I feel the way I did the day I lost her.  I have a few
special
moments with my angel.  My first was the night before I was scheduled to be
induced (which I deeply regret now), I hadnt felt her move yet and I was so
sad
about that...then, while laying in bed, its like she could tell my
feelings...and I felt one little kick!  I always wonder what she was trying
to tell me.  Of
course my other moment was just holding her, looking at her...to others she
was a baby who was "incompatible with life".  To me she was my girl, my
first
child who will never be forgotten, she was perfect to me.  We didnt know of
her
Trisomy until after her tests after she was born, we had only known of
Anencephaly, a fatal neural tube defect.  I have so many regrets...and so
much grief
still bottled up inside...sometimes I feel like I am dealing with it
incredibly well, and then other times, I just fall apart..I feel like I want
to run
away, that if my baby girl isnt here, I dont want to be either.  Well, Im
getting a little off the topic....thanks for listening...
Corinne
Mother to Haley Marie T18, September 10, 2002
And my earth angel and reason for living,
Nathan Michael, Sept 26, 2003


                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line




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                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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