[tri-wings] Maria

Maria 
 
My heart goes out to you.  Its a wonder how we keep ourselves going through 
such dark times, particularly when there are medical mistakes to deal with as 
well.  
 
My dates were also wrongly calculated, on the basis of the Connor being so 
small.  I knew the dates were wrong because my partner had been on a 
fortnight's trip in Europe, so I was pretty sure I was several weeks further on 
that they calculated.  Connor was eventually stillborn at full term, so i can 
relate to you feeling it was a hard experience.  
 
As time goes on you will learn to see some of the things in a positive light.  
Although I was devastated that Connor was not born alive, later on I feel that 
I'm glad he did not have to suffer for example medical procedures if he'd been 
really unwell.  I am also glad that he passed away naturally and not as the 
result of any decision I did or did not make.  That is hard for people to cope 
with.  
 
You will never forget your much wanted for baby, and neither you should.  They 
will always be a part of your family and your life experience.  Keep talking to 
people who are supportive and listen to you, its important to share your 
feelings and not forget.  My younger children know all about Connor, although 
they're too young to understand.  But he is not a forgotten member of our 
family, he is very much loved although he couldn't stay with us.
 
Have you had any contact with SOFT in the UK?  I have been a member for years 
and they were really wonderful for me.  They have lots of good ideas for making 
memories of our little ones lost too, because its important for us all to have 
something -  a memory, a tink, a little item of clothing or a bear we've 
bought, something to remind us of our special little people.
 
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. 
 
LoveDemi (just over the border in scotland)
Mummy to ickle angel Connor Adam (Full T18 13/06/01)
Matthew McDermid - 3 and chancing it!
Ryan James - 19 months . . .. 
 
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