[tri-wings] Maggie's Saint/Angel day/ pg announcement/ Religious

Yesterday was our Magdalena's birthday.  This year it was harder than in the 
past. Maggie would have turned 7.  It also was the 3 yr date of my MIL passing 
away.
Last week I watched Maggie's birth that had been taped at her delivery.  Out of 
our 7 live birth's hers would be the only one we ever did that.  Not knowing 
she was going to have T-18 despite the 5 previous U/S that we had.
I think what made it harder was the loss of Rebecca last March on top of the 
babies we miscarried in Dec'07 and Feb '08.  I had been really thinking of all 
of them.  What really made it hard though was watching Maggie's birth and 
seeing the nurse bag her like she did.  I had forgotten that.  I also had 
forgotten how the nurse had asked for "help".  Some memories are better hidden. 
 :)

We made cupcakes and celebrated in our way.  Last week was her younger sister's 
birthday.  She turned 6.  My "Irish Twins".  It's always bitter sweet.  Our 
daughter always wants to hear the story of her big sister and how excited we 
were.  :)

I also think this was harder with the added loss of our oldest daughter Rebecca 
and the extra hormones of twins growing inside of me!  Yep twins!  Last year 
about 2 weeks before Rebecca died she said " Mom I hope God sends us twins!"  
To which I replied" Bec God has a sense of humor he knows I couldn't handle 
twins and YOU! :)"  We then laughed and talked about how big I would get and 
how much harder it would be to lift her and carry twins.  Then Bec died 
tragically and unexpectly.    My body shut down and I went months not having a 
cycle.  Then in Dec we found out after one month of good fertility I was pg. At 
my first U/S on Dec19 they thought I had an empty sack. NO baby.  The thing is 
Bec came to me in a dream on 12/14/08 and told me "Mom don't worry everything 
will be all right. "  What will be all right I thought.  I had taken a pg test 
the day before and it was -.  Then on 12/15 after the dream I took another one 
+ !!!!  I started to bleed the night of that 12/19 U/S and bleed all day the 
next.  I thought I had lost the baby.  Blood work on that Mon showed I was 
still carrying a baby. So on 1/2/09 I had another U/S that showed 2 heart 
beats!!!  We all cried and sang praises.  I had the same U/S tech and she knew 
the story of Bec, Maggie and the previous miscarriages.  It was awesome!!!  Of 
course not without some worry.  My 12 week nuc fold scan along with my blood 
work came back very good.  Everything was within normal.  My next scan is in 2 
weeks and we'll find out if the babies are boys or girls.  We know they are 
identical within their seperate sack.  I'll be 42 in April and these will be 
babies 11 and 12 for us.  11th pg with hopefully 2 healthy babies.

I read all the time just don't have the time to post everyting I would like to. 
 Your all in my prayers and every loss is felt and prayed for by our family.  
This is going to be by far my hardest year with all of the losses.  It will 
also be one of my most joyous years when I get to hold these 2 little ones 
inside me.  I pray I do!!!  If not I know my husband and I co-created them with 
God and he may take when he chooses.  Not of our will but HIS will.  :)

The death of our oldest daughter is getting looked into and that is going to be 
very painful.  I pray for justice and for those who didn't do there jobs and 
provide her with care she needed to be accountable.  Life is as we all know 
very precious. 

God Bless all of you,

Dawn B Mom to Rebecca 3-8-88/3-28-08 Spina Bifida died from bowel obstruction,  
Michael Joseph m/c1990,Brittany 16, Cameron 13, Maximilian 8,Magdalena Jeanne 
Anne 2-13-02/3-9-02 Full T- 18, Margaret 6, Catherine 2, Casey Bernard m/c 
12/07, Hope Marie m/c 02/08 and the twins EDD 7/09!!! 
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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