[tri-wings] Let me introduce myself

Hi everyone.  Those of you on the family list I've met, but I'd like to 
introduce myself to the wings list.  My name is Stacie.  My daughter, Hailey 
Grace, gained her wings 10 weeks ago.  In the typical trisomy funpark way...it 
wasn't what I expected or when I expected it.  We were incredibly blessed to 
have her with us for 19 months, 3 weeks....and 4 1/2 hours.  I consider myself 
lucky to be her Mom.  Sometimes I have a lot of guilt associated with her 
passing, but a little "tink" soon after has alleviated some of that.  My oldest 
turned 4 just a couple of weeks after, my youngest will be 10 months old next 
week.  He started crawling the day after her service, I keep pretty busy.  
Actually I've been living in a surreal fog up until a couple weeks ago.  Still 
having a hard time focusing.  I dislike Wednesdays now, at least the 
nighttime.....I seem to replay the events of her last hours over & over.  I'm 
hoping to stop doing that soon, it does no good.  When I think about her,
  I want
 to remember the 19 months of happy, not that one day.  I want to remember how 
hard she tried to smile.....and that she only smiled at me (she was stingy that 
way).  I want to remember her beautiful big eyes and the way she used to look 
at me.  Please tell me that this will come soon, because right now, I remember 
her final hour & the way she looked.....after she had gone.  
Hmmm, rambling.  I just re-read that.  People think that I'm adjusting well.  
That's only what they see on the outside.  Okay...gotta go wipe the tears & 
blow my nose & have a smoke.....yup- I started smoking again.  (But only 
outside- not near the boys).  This has been a poor intro....but- I feel better! 
 I look forward to getting to know you all.  


Stacie

Mom to Alex (4), Zachary (9 months old) and my beloved little peanut, Hailey 
Grace, T-18 (8.20.02 - 4.14.04).  Wife to Kevin.  Living in Port St. Lucie, FL
















                
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