[tri-wings] Re: It`s two month today


--- Nadine Walther <bienschen23@xxxxxxxx> wrote:

> Sometimes I think the
> people think " Why isn`t she over it yet?"  Even my
> husband sometimes looks at me like I`m crazy or at
> least I  think he feels this way. At the beginning
> everyone felt with me but  after two month you
> starting to feel really isolated. I guess you know 
> what I mean.

(((Nadine)))

You are right - I remember feeling the same things.  I
really don't know if people think "why isn't she over
it yet" or are just uncomfortable about it because
they don't know how to comfort you. Try not to blame
them.  As for your husband, he too is grieving - most
probably differently than you.  Not to say that it is
worse for you, but you are the one that felt the
movements for all those months.  You are the one whose
body totally reformed so Leyna could develop, not to
mention the emotional rollercoaster your hormones put
you on.  Everything you are feeling is normal for a
grieving mother.  Dont feel bad if you'r not in the
same place as you husband is.  I don't know where I
would have been with out Mike to go through it all
with, but we had some major fights around the 3 month
mark.  He had returned to work with in 2 weeks after
and HAD to face the world, I didn't.  I think not
going back to work right away caused me to dwell on it
more than he did because my mind was not on my job 8
hours a day, not to mention I had this physical scar
from the c-section that rememinded me constantly of
what I didn't have- just like you.  So Mike and I
ended up at different stages in the grieving process. 
It was ugly, but we ended up going away on a vacation
and somehow after that things evened out.

Guess what I'm getting at is, allow yourself the
grieving time that it takes for YOU, but don't
discount your hubby.  You need each other at this
time, even if you're mentally at different places. 
Explain to him these things so he understands that you
aren't in the same place he is.  Eventually it all
evens out.  Take things a day at a time.  If you're
having a bad one, keep in mind that tomorrow starts
all over.

(((((hugs)))))  it will get better.


lotsofluv
Deanna ~~~~
Mom to Nicole 17, Jake 13, Jessica (our beautiful T18 angel) 5/04/02 and
Rylee 2 !!!
Wife to Mike
Meet Jessica @ http://home.mchsi.com/~warpehoski


I live in my own little world.  But it's ok - They know me here.


                
__________________________________ 
Start your day with Yahoo! - Make it your home page! 
http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

Other related posts: