[tri-wings] Re: Introduction/Brenda

Brenda wrote
> I'm Brenda from Long Island, New York.<<

Hi and welcome to the "family".I'm so sorry that you are in such pain.The
heartache of losing a child will never ,ever heal completely but it does get
better,believe me.I know you won't think so right now!
 You must be very strong people to have had to make the choice to interrupt
the pregnancy and I'm so sorry that you are now left with many questions and
doubts.Please don't let the "what if's "eat away at you.We always say here
that whatever decision we made was made in love and was the right decision
at the time.Beating yourself up and allowing the doubts to take over will
only destroy you more.

  >>.  It seems like post-partum has kicked in and I don't have a baby to
show for it!!!<<
((((((((((((((Brenda))))))))))))))))))))))
That's a very common feeling sweetheart and I know how much it hurts.Lauren
will never be able to fill the void left by Nicholas and any subsequent
pregnancy wouldn't either but when your arms and heart ache most of all,give
Lauren an extra hug...it may just help.
>
>>When I asked him if this could happen again, he said "absolutely, you are
almost 40."   I'll be 38 in 2 weeks!!!!  Does that mean this is inherited?
He said "maybe, not really sure." <<

Being almost 40 doesn't necessarily mean that it will happen but statistics
do stack against you the older you get..However,there have been ladies here
in their late teens and early twenties who have had babies with
trisomies...so I don't personally think age is a real marker.I hate
statistics so I choose not to remember them but I'm sure someone will know
what the increased risk is in maternal age if you really want to know.It
does open up a minefield though as you also get the added statistics of if
you had one pregnancy with an abnormaility etc etc etc.and I think sometimes
you end up with more information than you really wanted.
I do hope that your new doctors practice will provide more of an
understanding approach ,although sadly there does seem to be a lot of
doctors who don't know too much about trisomies.

Looking forward to getting to know more about you and your family.Talk about
Nicholas as much and as often as you like...we are all here for each other .
hugs

Mandy,wife to Baz, mum to Matthew(12),Charlotte (10) , Gareth (t18 ^i^
14/11/99)and Dominic (CH ^i^ 23/7/00) and my little pot of gold at the end
of a very long rainbow
,Alfie( 19 Apr 04),
step mum to Katie(^i^) Ed (16)and Lucy(14 )England,UK
www.geocities.com/baby2angels2000

"My heros come with wings, not capes."







                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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