[tri-wings] Re: Introduction newbie here w/loss - Debby - long

Debby,
I missed a whole digest somehow, so I'm very glad that Brenda  
included your message.  (And I hadn't remembered that Brenda's  
daughter Grace had T-13, even though I read the signatures all the  
time.  Somehow, that just slipped through the holes in my brain.
As you will notice from signatures, everyone's family is very  
important to them.  And the angel that they lost is right in there  
with the rest of them.  You have lost so much; I can't possibly know  
how you feel.  But I'm also not a mom of a trisomy child.  I'm a  
grandmother.  Hope Margaret was my daughter's first child.  And I  
grieve for the loss of my grandchild, but I also grieved for my  
daughter and sil for their loss.  I felt a double whammy.
What I'm trying to say is, of course you are welcome here!!!  You are  
definitely in the right place.  The folks on this board have done  
everything possible to make me feel welcome.  And I think you will  
get the same response.  Whatever you say will be whatever you need to  
say.  I don't think you will offend anyone.  [And they always have  
the right to decide not to read a post. :)]
I absolutely had to respond to you because I love your daughter's  
name.  My first grandchild's name is Cadence Marie.  We had never  
heard the name before she was born. It took quite a while to get used  
to it, but now, no other name would do.  She was named Cadence  
because it is a term used for the drumming cadence used by drum corps  
and marching bands during parades and field shows.  Both of her  
parents played the drums.  Her mother just in parades; her dad still  
plays the trap set for his church musical group.  And she was born in  
March.  So after the reason for her name was explained to me, it  
meant perfect sense.  My kids are very "thought-full" when making  
decisions of any kind.  [There is a story behind their son's name, too.]
It doesn't make much difference which kind of trisomy your child has,  
whenever you hear or read the words "incompatible w/life, we all go  
bananas.  Couldn't they choose another way to tell us that our child  
is in so much danger?  Incompatible seems so final.  And as you will  
see, there are children who have proven the doctors wrong - at least  
for a while.
Welcome to wings.  Just sorry you needed to look for us.  This is a  
great group of people.  And I'm sorry this is such a long welcome.   
The more you get to know me, the more you will know that I'm long- 
winded.  Really sorry, guys!?

Sheila Helleson
MN Grandma to IA and SD grandkids:  Hope (T-18   11-1-1) & Alison;  
Cadence & Bridge
Mom to Cheryl (& Denny);  Wade (& Charity)
Wife to Richard

"Shared joy is double joy, and shared sorrow is half-sorrow."   
Swedish Proverb




                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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