[tri-wings] Re: How Do I Deal With This Pain?

>  In your experiences do you find that that is normal =
> and in time I will be able to cope better and not tuck the grief away or =
> should I face it in order to move on?  I just feel like hiding from it =
> may cause damage spiritually, but the pain is just too great even with =
> God in my life.  Maybe he is allowing me to hide from it in order to =
> cope.  I just don't know.



(((Tiffany)))  I don't know if there is a best way to grieve because
everyone is so different but one thing that did help me is talking to a
counselor for a few times.  I was so busy that I didn't take the time to
talk about Michelle, think about her short life, sort out all my feelings
(the ups and downs) and really let my feeling come gushing out.  And boy did
they gush out when the grief counselor and I talked.  I didn't even know all
those feelings were inside me!  I thought about her all the time but
thinking wasn't the same as talking.

We talked a lot about Michelle's hospital stay right before she died and how
awful that was for my family and me.  I had to work through a lot of
feelings about that week when we thought she was dying two different times.

I didn't like having these sessions with the counselor...I always dreaded
that day.  It HURT BUT it helped so much.  She just kept asking questions
and then letting me talk.  I can now think about Michelle's life (every part
of it) and miss her a lot but still feel comfortable that her life was the
best we could do .  Michelle was not meant to live a long life...just to
change every life she touched in those 6 short months.  That was God's gift
to us and now she is resting in his lap waiting for us.

Thank you for the prayers.  I too pray for all the moms who have lost their
children.  There are so many of us and the sadness never really goes away.
But neither do the memories!

Gentle hugs,
Ann mom to Sarah (12), Beth (10), Mark (7), Brian (5)
& beloved Michelle T18 (4/1/03-10/26/03) wife to Joel
Overland Park, Kansas   USA

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He
didn't trust me so much."
Mother Teresa


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