[tri-wings] Re: How Do I Deal With This Pain?

----- Original Message -----
From: "Tiffany Killcreas" <TKillcreas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> Also, I wanted to know how you dealt with certain stages of grief.  It =
> seems like in the beginning I stared it in the face and dealt with =
> everything well.  >

(((Tiffany)))

Grief is such an ugly monster and it effects everyone differently.  I, too,
thought that I handled the initial stages quite well, then about 3-4 months
out is when the worst of it hit.  The rest of the world was moving on and no
one wanted to hear about her - I actually had someone tell me "Let's not
talk about her, it's too depressing".  That's where this group and my small
group that was formed from area mom's of  T18 babies helped so much.
Finding someone that knows your pain and will actually let you talk about
her help and even cry might let you stare this ugly monster in the face.
Maybe your OB or Ped. can connect you to someone that has lost a baby.
That's how I met one of the T18 moms - she actually has a 5 year old
survivor.

One day, the pain will soften - it doesn't go away - but you do smile again.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Jessica and wonder
if she sees us and what kind of two year old things she is doing, but I can
do it and smile, and I can do it and cry - and really I don't give a damn
what anyone thinks anymore.  The first year was so difficult because of all
the milestones - the monthly birthdays and holidays.  When her 1 year
birthday hit, I told myself "OK, we made it this far, now lets look at the
next year" and for some reason it was much easier.

What you are dealing with is normal and how you deal with it is up to you.
Just do what ever makes Tiffany feel best!

lotsofluv
Deanna ~~~~
Mom to Nicole 16, Jake 12, Jessica (our beautiful T18 angel) 5/04/02 and
Rylee 9 months!!
Wife to Mike
Meet Jessica @ http://home.att.net/~warpehoski


I live in my own little world.  But it's ok - They know me here.


                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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