[tri-wings] Re: Hello


--- Amy Putnam <aputna@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

   I know they
> don't talk to us because
> (not sure how to put this) we are or am everything
> they hope they won't be
> (losing a child).  I understand I do but it makes me
> ??? when her friends
> ask me what they can do if he is stillborn or
> prepared to do if he lives
> awhile.  I tell them things to be helpful.   



I kind of remember feeling like that when I had met a
mom that had just lost her son.  I'm sure that they
have hope that their child will beat the odds, just as
we all did.  You are a reminder to them of the odds
that they don't want to face.  I would just do as you
are doing, lay low for now, let them come to you.  You
have already offered much to them and they have
rejected it.  I'm sure the people that are close to
them are relying on you because they, too, don't know
how to react to help their friends.  As I said, lay
low for now, they may really need you in the future.

Another reason they may be shunning you is because
they feel guilty because they have already carried
their child longer than you did.  People feel funny
about having a surviving child because they are
uncomfortable talking about that child, knowing that
you did not get those memories.  I would just try to
understand that they are going through the roughest
time of their lives at this point, so decisions that
they make might not be what they would make under
normal circumstances.  Don't take offense to it.



lotsofluv
Deanna ~~~~
Mom to Nicole 18, Jake 14, Jessica (our beautiful T18 angel) 5/04/02 and
Rylee 2 3/4 !!!
Wife to Mike
Meet Jessica @ http://home.mchsi.com/~warpehoski


I live in my own little world.  But it's ok - They know me here.

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