[tri-wings] Re: Hello

>>>>>>>>I am not sure if a can be a support, I am trying very hard I think I
have
done well so far but if they lose him I am not sure I can go to the funeral.
As I write this I know I sound like a selfish person but this is still very 
hard for me.   <<<<<<<<<


((((((((((Amy)))))))))))

It is so hard and hurtful when you reach out to help others and they put you
down.  I think it's a protective mechanism, and we have all experienced it
at one time or another. I.e., newbie's only wanting to hear from t13 or t18
families, or early losses feeling like its less of a loss ( its not ) after
a while we realize that we can get support and learn from others whose
experience is similar.  ?)  I spoke to one dad at conference that had lost
his daughter at 3 yrs of age. He told me that while trying to support a new
member who had lost a child as a still birth the person stated to him that "
he could not possibly understand how they felt as his child had lived"  As
Tracey said just be there for them.  As for the " being over it"  as the
others have said you never get over it, also I think those that have a still
birth or neonatal death in some ways have it harder because they often don't
get the support of friends and family as for some its hard to understand the
loss when the infant was not real to them (i.e. they did not know the person
as they were not yet born. Does that make sense??)

Susan mom to Rebecca t18m 06/06/91 - 05/02/06 and Mark age 13 1/2 ADD/LD



                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
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