[tri-wings] Hello

I have been back for awhile lurking, remembering.

We had some friends who lost a baby in March to T-21, very severe case.  
That was hard; I felt the same as I did in July 2000.

I will give everyone my background, our son passed at 23 weeks with a t-13
diagnosis and I had him 1 day later, we had a memorial service for him, and
like everyone it was the hardest part of my life.  We still celebrate Zach
birthday every July, he will always be a part of our life, even though we
should be over it.

Helping our friends through it helped me and for the most part I did very
well and they are doing well. 

In May, some members of our church found out they were having a T-18 baby, I
reached out and told them I would help them any way I could.  Since then,
she is about 36 weeks, they have treated me like I have the plague.  I am
not sure all that is wrong but doctors don't give them much hope; I am not
sure when doctors give much hope.   I know they don't talk to us because
(not sure how to put this) we are or am everything they hope they won't be
(losing a child).  I understand I do but it makes me ??? when her friends
ask me what they can do if he is stillborn or prepared to do if he lives
awhile.  I tell them things to be helpful.   

Here is my dilemma:  In church this morning one of her friends held up a
gift bag and said we aren't having a baby shower for them but if you like to
give money that is great. I am not sure what the money is for. I feel bad
for saying this but this group of people has not been very supported through
Zach or my sequential pregnancies.  I was told "he was stillborn"  get over
it etc....., not only about Zach but Nicholas and Matthew my healing babies.


I am not sure if a can be a support, I am trying very hard I think I have
done well so far but if they lose him I am not sure I can go to the funeral.
As I write this I know I sound like a selfish person but this is still very 
hard for me.   

Anyone have any ideas? 

Thanks
Amy (mom to Zach 7/31/00 and my troop with me Jordyn, Taylor,
Michael, Nicholas and Matthew



                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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