[tri-wings] Eulogy for my son (Jesus mentioned)

Hi everyone...as some of you already know, my son Timothy was found dead on
Wednesday morning.  We are shattered and reeling from the news that it may
be murder. He was found hanging in a park, but the police believe that it
may be murder, not suicide.  I would like to share the eulogy I have
prepared, and would appreciate any feedback.  As he was a drug addict, I
feel sensitive about 'justifying' his life.  Thank you to all those who have
sent their condolences and good wishes.  The prayers of friends are
sustaining us now.
 

Much love

 

Kathy s

 

Eulogy of Timothy James Dalzell

 

Good afternoon, my name is Kathy and I am Timothy's mom.

 

Thank you for coming today to share in our celebration of Timothy's earthly
life, but more importantly, his eternal life.

 

Please excuse me if I am tearful, but I felt, as his mother, no one knew him
or loved him as I did, so it fell to me to deliver his eulogy.

 

Timothy was born on January 8, 1983, just 5 minutes before his sister
Nickola, and from the start, the routine of life did not fascinate him!  His
very first school report, aged 3, indicated that he was aware of the school
routine, but seldom participated in it.  At age 6 I was told how he used to
daydream and gaze out of the window, but because he still did his work, they
weren't worried!  He was such a big daydreamer, we always joked that he
lived on another planet.

 

He showed little fear of consequences and demonstrated this by riding his
bicycle into the deep end of the swimming pool, whilst unable to swim; and
once jumping off the roof of the garage using a plastic bag over his
shoulders as a parachute.

 

But Timothy was born with a heart of compassion..we owned a boerbull when he
was about 9 years old, who was badly hurt one day. So he carried this great
big dog to his friends house, because her brother was a paramedic and could
help him and then allowed the dog to sleep on his bed until he recovered.

 

He was once expelled from a school rather than be suspended, because he
refused to rat on some of his friends.

 

Once, in his early teens, he saved 3 people from drowning off Umhloti beach.

 

And then there is our favourite, which Dominic is not aware of.  Not too
many years ago, on a cold and rainy night, there was a buzz at the gate.
Timothy answered, and before we knew it, we had made up beds in a room
downstairs and provided dinner of an old African couple who had been
stranded in Durban when they had come to visit their son in hospital.  When
I tried to reason with him, he said "Mom, how can we call ourselves
Christians, if we can't help people in need?"

 

So on Saturday at Doves, we were standing about his coffin and agreed that
although his head had been messed, his heart was pure and surely that was
better than the other way around?

 

He desperately wanted acceptance from people, never realizing that the only
acceptance he needed, he already had - from Jesus.

 

I am so grateful that we had him in our house for the last 6 months, even if
the last few weeks were hairy. 

Because he continued to make poor choices for his life, I am grateful that
he has now been spared the consequences of future choices.

I am grateful that he always had family who loved him.

But most importantly, I am grateful that he is now happier than he has ever
been, with the God who has always loved him.

 

As Jesus said in John 5 vs 24..Most assuredly I say to you, he who hears my
word and believes in Him who sent me, has everlasting life and shall not
come into judgment, but has passed from death to life."

 

So my son, the rebellious Christian, now has the love, peace and acceptance
that he so craved on earth.

 

He has taught me that it is possible to love the person unconditionally,
without accepting the behaviour unconditionally.

 

He has taught me what it is to forgive 70 times 7.

 

He is, and always will be, a constant reminder that Christians aren't
perfect, but they are forgiven.  

 



                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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