Georgiann,.
I am so sorry for your extreme pain. What you are experiencing is very,
very, very normal. I think no matter what each of us has faced, and no matter
how
long or how short we had with our child, we all do that same thing. The what
ifs and if onlys.
In my own experience is it impossible to stop them. I had to work through
them and let them each play out in my own mind. The first year after we lost
Emma was like a blur. Everything I did took effort and even though those around
me saw strength and coping, inside I too was a mess. I think most of us are,
for a time. How long that time takes is different for each of us and there is
not right amount.
Be gentle with yourself and make sure you find time each day to let your
feelings flow, no matter what they are. Anger, pain, guilt, fear, frustration
they are all normal and as long as you are not bottling them up, you are
letting
them out and you will be able to move past them at some point.
It never completely goes away but it goes from unbearable to bearable to a
part of your life and who you are.
Take lots of time to heal,
Bess
Mom to Emma Grace 12-2-3 to 12-15-3 full t-18
and Ben, Jake, Zack, Chloe and new little one in October
Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
www.trisomyonline.org
Families Helping Families On-line