[tri-wings] Re: Double for Grandparents

 
 Sheila Helleson wrote: 

>>I want so badly to go to see them, and go to the cemetery, and be there for
Hope's birthday. But - they are hurting so much that they are trying to
keep so busy that they don't have time to let anyone in.<<

((((((((((((((((Sheila))))))))))))))))) thats so sad...cause one day they are 
going to be hit full in the face with it all and so much more so because they 
havent taken time to grieve...years of bottled grief will one day explode.IMHO 
its a lot gentler to take baby steps through this whole process.I know that we 
dont exactly think its very gentle and some days we all feel the need to bottle 
those emotions and not look  grief straight between the eyes, but I do think 
that we need to work through it and to be supported by those around us while we 
do.I wish I had you for a mum or MIL....can I adopt you?please!!!

 

>>>As I sit here and cry, I know that Cheryl is crying, too. And I can't be
there to hug her and tell her I love her. Gosh, it hurts. Enough.<<

((((((((((((((((Sheila)))))))))))))))))
I'm sure that Cheryl knows how much you love her.I'm also sure that Hope knows 
how much you miss her and the dreams you all had for her.

Can you not go to the cemetery alone? Do what you want to for Hope...she is 
your grandaughter too...I only wish that someone else went to "visit"my 
boys....to me that would show someone cared about them too...(they never do 
though).I know you want to be there altogether but if they are excluding you 
from their plans then please dont feel that you cant be there for Hope.Maybe if 
the cemetery is too far away from home and you cant go then how about doing 
something else like  releasing a balloon ...can be done from your own garden 
and will still be delivered to Hope....or if there is a stream near home, send 
a rose with a message tied to it.Above all, be gentle with yourself, allow 
yourself to cry not only for Hope but also for the hurt you feel because Cheryl 
is hurting.

(((((((((((Sheila))))))))))))))

big hugs




Mandy,mum to Matthew 10,Charlotte 8 , Gareth (t18 ^i^ Nov 14th'99) Dominic 
(Cystic Hygroma ^i^ July 23rd '00) and soon to be mum of our "special little 
someone" (England UK)

http://www.geocities.com/baby2angels2000 

"Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the 
same wound" - Thomas Jefferson 



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