[tri-wings] Re: Donna - blood test

Hi Kay,
sorry about donna so sad but it might be for the the best am sure that donna 
will not see it that way. BUT please try and talk things out as at this time 
you are both hurting and you need each other but please talk as it might 
help

Penny mum to Megan Gran to to Kameran T1q 27th June to 5th July 2000
and twins 0 days on earth and Hannaah Maddision-rose due Jan 2002.



>From: "kay.y" <kay.y@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
>Reply-To: tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
>To: <tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>Subject: [tri-wings] Donna - blood test
>Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2001 15:15:55 +0100
>
>Have been to the hospital.  It is more likely to be a blighted ovum now.  
>The human chorionic etc., did not double, it went up a little, but not 
>much.  The doc said it is more likely to be a 'blighted ovum'.
>
>I am so depressed right now. Donna is in a state and got really nasty with 
>me on the ward and her boyfriend. Long story.
>
>The doc came to tell her the news, she starts on about discharging herself. 
>  Wants me to phone her boyfriend to ask him to get to the hospital 
>earlier.  He cant get there earlier.  We wait for him outside the ward by 
>the lifts.  Just my luck - someone comes out with a newborn - it really did 
>my head in and did me in.  I asked Donna if she would go to the ward and 
>wait just in the door - NO she says. I know she is upset but I really didnt 
>need all the POO that followed - and trying to deal with my own 'stuff' 
>too.
>
>She told me her dad said to her yesterday about "there you are, there is no 
>baby there anyway" as if he was reading a script!!  I told her to just try 
>and accept that people are stupid and will say stupid things and to try to 
>ignore them (dont suppose that helped her then).
>
>He gets there an hour later, so I decide I will go and let them be together 
>to support eachother.When I am about to go and get my bag/s then say 
>goodbye to Donna, she asks me to stay because he is going down the pub.  
>She starts  shouting he can ' F'  off then. I tell her off. He then comes 
>back and says he will stay with her (he had popped outside the ward to see 
>a friend he was with).
>
>She starts shouting at him to 'F' off.  I tell her off and tell her not to 
>do it on the ward.  She turns to me and tells me to 'F' off too.  I said to 
>her that I am sick and tired of taking abuse from her - she shouts at me 
>'F' off then and not come back.
>
>I cant take anymore. I really cant - if this sounds like I am being 
>self-pitying then tough, I will be.  I am so fed up of people abusing me 
>and thinking that it is ok.  I felt so stupid on the ward being shouted at 
>and told to 'F' off by my own daughter.
>
>I have tried to be with her over this and help her but I have just had it 
>now.  Sometimes I wonder how the heck she thinks she can talk to people the 
>way she talks to me.  She can be such a lovely girl - but to me - WHY???
>
>The nurses know that I left upset - I had to quickly explain to them about 
>Kyle last year and Donna's ex-boyfriend who was killed and her being 
>homeless, just so they got a feel of what she has had to deal with in the 
>last 23 months.
>
>I feel so fed up. Had enough.  cant take much more.  I remembered what 
>someone wrote in their mail here, that I might find I 'fall apart' or was 
>it 'lose it' unexpetedly - u r right, I did.
>
>I just cant seem to stop crying right now.  If the hospital phone me to go 
>back, I am not going to.  I just cant cope with it anymore.  AM sick and 
>tired of being on the end of the receiving end of her anger - which doesnt 
>actually belong to me. (some may do, but certainly not all of it). I cant 
>understand how she can be so bloody (sorry) selfish.  When I was expecting 
>Kyle and knowing he was going to die, even then she would ring me 2-3 times 
>in the night because of arguements with her boyfriend. I have had it - I 
>just cant take anymore. I really cant.  When I was being sick (very ill) 
>when I was pregnant with Kyle, she hung up on me because I couldnt be there 
>for her.
>
>How do I get her to grow up and take responsibility for her actions now? 
>Any suggestions because I am past and beyond knowing what to do.  I dont 
>know if she would have discharged herself - they advised her against it so 
>I dont know if she went ahead with it.  I have asked them to emphasise if 
>she leaves against their advice the effects that could have.
>
>To be honest, if she does discharge herself from the hospital, I WILL NOT 
>be rushing back over to see her if she is re-admitted - I know this sounds 
>harsh, but I really think she needs to start to take responsibility for her 
>actions and what she does and what happens to her.  I just cant believe she 
>started to shout and swear at me on a ward of sick people (it wasnt in 
>front of people that are ill - thankfully).
>
>Thanks for reading this, if you did get this far.
>
>Kay - Mum to Kyle Nathan T13 (in heaven 18th April 2000) and Donna 19 
>(acting like a spoilt TWO yr old right now).
>
>
>                   Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
>                        www.trisomyonline.org
>                   Families Helping Families On-line


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                       www.trisomyonline.org
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