[tri-wings] Re: Caileigh's Story(very long winded sorry all)

Jackie,
Welcome if you haven't noticed already this place is awesome.  I think
of everyone here as a special friend who understands what I went
through.  This is a very special place.  I know what you went through
and how you felt.  I was feeling a lot of the same things you were.  My
angel Christian was my fourth pregnancy his big brother Anthony was my
first.  I had a molar pregnancy in 02 and a miscarriage in 04, then my
angel Christian (full T13) and I just miscarried again in Feb.  So I
feel your loss.=20
I wish I could give you a big hug and but since I am not please know
that my heart goes out to you, your family and you little girl.
Christian's pictures and story are available in the memory albums at
(http://www.livingwithtrisomy13.org/trisomy-13-memory.htm) if you care
to read about him.  I don't want to go into details but I will talk
about a few things.  I remember when we found out the doctor told me
that I was in denial and that we had the option to induce if we wanted
because the Air Force doesn't terminate pregnancies no matter what.  I
snapped back and him and told him "NO" because no matter what he was my
little boy.  I didn't tell them but I figured if he made it that far he
would prove them all wrong and make it through the pregnancy and
delivery.  I couldn't understand how they were telling me he had all of
these problems when he acted so normal.  But now when I look back the
doctors where right he didn't have to struggle to breathe or eat my body
was providing him with everything he needed.  My husband and I were
stationed in Germany when we found out about Christian and the German
doctor that told me about Christian wasn't very nice but when they sent
us to the a specialized doctor and he was nice. He worked with my OB doc
to get us orders to come back to the states so we could be with family
when Christian passed away.  After Christian passed away my family and
friends would ask me how is it that I am ok with losing Christian. And I
tell them I knew he wouldn't be with us forever and I prayed that god
would give us a couple of days with Christian and he did.  So that is
why I am doing pretty well.  It is still hard at times but at least now
I can play with a baby and not lose it.  I actually steal my coworker's
baby girl every time he comes in my office with her (For a short time I
give her back).  She is 4 days younger then Christian would have been.
I hope I didn't babble too much but I wanted to share some of my story
with you.  I hope you get to check out the rest on the web site.  If you
cry I apologize I still do when I read it however now I see all the
errors I made when I wrote it. Oh well it was wrote out of love so I
guess I will give my self some slack.=20
Thank you for sharing your story with us and welcome to our little
circle.=20
Marianne
Mom to Christian (T13) 9-29-05/10-1-05, Anthony (4) Jun 4th 2001

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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