[tri-wings] Re: Bess on Back on clomid

>I think it is hard for him to see me after each
>loss.  It is sad because he has totally shut down when it comes to my>
>moods.  It sucks because I want him close and he keeps pushing me a way.
>I think he is scared more for me then for losing another child.  

Marianne,
I know how you feel about your hubby.  When I was pregnant with Morgan Mike was 
very, very supportive.  He really got me through the whole time.  But as soon 
as Morgan was born, I mean, literally after only a few hours, he said to me, "I 
don't want to go through this ever again!"  And pretty much as quick as that 
the decision was made for us not to have anymore kids (not to say that he made 
the decision on his own because it was mutual.  Morgan has the inherited form 
of t18 so we did not want to take any chances.)  For months afterward he seemed 
distant to me, not Morgan.  I finally got it out of him that he felt guilty 
about the situation.  It wasn't that he felt bad for Morgan, but he felt bad 
for me.  He told me he never wanted to have to see me like that again 
(referring to the day we got the diagnosis over the telephone and he had to 
come home from work to be with me.)   Even though I had never said or done one 
thing to make him feel like it was his fault he had taken it
  all on himself, that somehow he had hurt me.  

It is really hard to come together as a couple when there are feelings like 
this.  Mike and I had a hard time for quite awhile.  Somehow, I'm not even sure 
how, we worked our way through it.   It's not like that was the first glitch in 
the road we had ever hit.  But it was a big one!  Time sure can work wonders, 
even when we have a hard time believing it, time is at work doing its thing.

"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance 
and confidence in ourselves." --Marie Curie... 

Holly --  wife of Mike, mom of Morgan (9 yrs.), partial t18q & partial monosomy 
9p (unbalanced translocation)
mommy to Clyde (gray kitty) & Cleopatra (white kitten)
Des Moines, IA




                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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