[tri-wings] Being here( was Acknowledging Grandchildren)

Sheila wrote
>>.  She suggested that maybe I
> should forget about this group for now, that I didn't need that kind of
> "stress".  My response was, "Maybe I do."  .<<

((((((((((((((((((Sheila))))))))))))))))))))
IMHO only *you* know if you need us or not and you know that you are more
than welcome to be here.I wish that we had many more Grandparents,Aunts
,Uncles etc because I really do feel that seeing the loss of a child through
other family members eyes helps us ,as grieving parents,understand something
of how you feel.
I was having a conversation with Baz on Monday as we sat in traffic queues
waiting to get the Christmas shopping done and he said asked if I had maybe
reached a stage where I no longer need the trisomy world and I just sat and
looked at him bewildered.He told me that after Katie died he became involved
in a baby bereavement support group and their "rules" were that you couldn't
befriend anyone within so many months of your own loss and you had to give
up befriending  so many years after your loss because you didn't feel the
same pain.I'm just totally amazed and asked him if I'm not "normal" then
because my world is still very much trisomy connected and my heart still
feels the same pain and compassion for others that it did three years ago.He
said he agreed and he knows that trying to stop me being here would result
in loss of limbs(or chest hair being removed one at a time :-)  ) and I
don't think he ever would want me to not be here unless I wanted that too.
Bit of a waffle I know but what I'm trying to say is that as far as I'm
concerned its every individual's choice as to how long or how often we are
here and we have no rules on timescales .Those we love may think they know
and may well be concerned about us but if we still feel we need *here* then
we need it.fullstop.
Hope you are feeling a little less depressed now than you were a few days
ago.
hugs
Mandy,wife to Baz, mum to Matthew(12),Charlotte (10) , Gareth (t18 ^i^
14/11/99)and Dominic (CH ^i^ 23/7/00) and my little pot of gold at the end
of a very long rainbow
,Alfie( 19 Apr 04),
step mum to Katie(^i^) Ed (16)and Lucy(15 )England,UK
www.geocities.com/baby2angels2000

"My heros come with wings, not capes."

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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