[tri-wings] Re: : Baby Zeke's (T13) story on the front page of the KCStar

Mariane,

That is a tough place to be. I guess my only advice would be that just like
with a child with Trisomy 13 or 18, we as their parents make our decisions
based on what we know and feel at the time. Hindsight is 20/20 and I am sure
we have all had many, many moments when we think if only I had done...
(insert anything) and we feel bad, worse or what have you. I am guessing
these parents thought that they had done the right thing at the time and
never expected that their son would in fact kill himself. I am sure that
they too are filled with what ifs and if onlys. It is easy for us to look at
them and think things about them in a bad way, or judging way as we are not
them, and we are outside the situation. Much as it is for others to do the
same to us, about our grief, our situations and our decisions. 

I would say that you should try to give them the same support you would to
anyone here. We all come from different places and I am certain had they
been able to, they would have prevented his death. Just be the wonderful
person you are, offer to listen if they need to talk and let them know you
are there with a shoulder should they need one. 

Bess

-----Original Message-----
From: tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]
On Behalf Of Deaton Marianne D SSgt 28 MOS/MXOOA
Sent: Wednesday, April 18, 2007 9:08 AM
To: tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [tri-wings] Re: : Baby Zeke's (T13) story on the front page of the
KCStar

Ann and Bess,
Thank you so much for the kind words.  I did pretty good most of the
service until I got up there to see them.  They had a slide show and
some of the stuff from his room and lots and lots of pictures.  He was a
cute boy and it is really sad that he felt he had to take his own life.
I heard some really disturbing news when I got home about how he had
tried to do it one day but couldn't find the ammo.  The next day he
looked for the ammo and couldn't find it so his family thought it was
said and done they didn't know he was still looking.  The third day he
found the ammo got the gun he knew he could get and shot himself.  I am
really torn because I don't know what to do.  I feel bad for them for
their loss but then again I feel bad because it got to the point that he
was able to do it.  I don't know what to do or say.  I can't say
anything here because my boss is really good friends with the parents
and I feel awkward talking to him about how confused I am.  Any advice
guys?
Thanks


Marianne
Mom to Anthony (5) Jun 4th 2001, Christian (T13) 9-29/10-1-05
" Those who can endure most are rewarded most" unknown


-----Original Message-----
From: tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Ann
Sent: Tuesday, April 17, 2007 11:15 AM
To: tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [tri-wings] Re: : Baby Zeke's (T13) story on the front page of
the KCStar

Oh Marianne.  The first funeral is always the hardest and for someone so
young and so tragic...  My prayers are with you.  Ann

-----Original Message-----
From: tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]
On Behalf Of Deaton Marianne D SSgt 28 MOS/MXOOA
Sent: Tuesday, April 17, 2007 9:40 AM
To: tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [tri-wings] Re: : Baby Zeke's (T13) story on the front page of
the
KCStar

Ann,
Thank you so much for sharing their story with us.=3D20
I was bawling.  It was like a flash back. =3D20
On a side note, I am attending my first funeral since Christian and I am
preparing to bring a box of tissue.  It is for co-workers who lost his
11 yr old boy.  They think committed suicide.  So I have been a wreck
all week.  Wish me luck this afternoon. :) I will let you all know how
it went tomorrow.=3D20


Marianne
Mom to Anthony (5) Jun 4th 2001, Christian (T13) 9-29/10-1-05
" Those who can endure most are rewarded most" unknown
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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