[tri-wings] Re: Another Holiday Question

i can't manage situations where people don't know about our loss very well. 
for me, the solution has been to have either darrell or myself bring it up 
first.  many people knew about our loss but pretended not to or  have hedged 
around it for fear of upsetting us. i like things to be concrete and in the 
open, but that is a personality style.  if i sent out  christmas cards, i 
would include tyler as our angel because he will always be a part of our 
family.  as for when to stop, i think the answer is when you feel like it. 
we spend too much time allowing others to define who we are and how we 
should cope.  grief is ugly, hard, merciless and awful, but it is real.  our 
society does not teach us how to handle death or the bereaved.  i would 
suggest trying to figure out what you need to heal. everyone is different 
and so is their grief.  set your own limits and gently share them with 
others.  people can be more supportive (each in their own way) if they know 
how you feel and what you need. go easy on yourself and take care.  i hope 
this helped- i tend to have a very- hmmmm- strong personality and recognize 
that it may be a bit easier for me to talk about stuff than it is for 
others.

pam, mum to t 13 angel tyler
elora ontario


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