[tri-wings] Re: Angel parents please advise

Theresa -
I know I don't have any magic words to soothe all you feel as there are none.  
I am only 3 months out from losing my son so am still just surviving myself 
many days.  I want you to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. 
 
The loss of Michael is so new and so raw.  Try to be gentle with yourself.  You 
are not losing it.  The intensity of the myriad of emotions you're experiencing 
is enough to make you want to sleep, run away and avoid your husband among 
other things!  I found myself restless--just searching for some way to ease the 
pain.  On top of all these feelings, your body is post-partum and that alone 
can be a challenge!! 
 
One of the things that gets me out of bed is thinking that Noah would want me 
to go on.  Though the loss of him leaves a hole in my heart, he didn't come to 
be my undoing but for me to grow and for a million other reasons I will never 
know.  My faith in God helps me tremendously.  It doesn't take away the pain 
and anger but many times I can fall back on my belief that Noah was a special 
gift, even though I struggle with why he had to be taken away. 
 
So please be gentle with yourself.  Rest.  Try to find some helpful things that 
bring you comfort...talking to a friend, a warm bath, a support group, 
journaling, walking, hitting a pillow on a bed.  And breathe.  It is said that 
those in mourning forget to breathe.  Take as deep a breath in as possible, 
then out.  Then do it again and again. 
 
I wish we could make your journey easier.  Many say that the pain never goes 
away but eventually we learn to deal with it and it is less frequently so 
intense and painful.  That someday is down the road but people keep promising 
me that it's true.

Sending hugs and prayers.  
Melissa Smurdon
Mommy to Noah (9/20/07-6/14/08)
full t18 & spina bifida
www.caringbridge.org/visit/babysmurdon


 
On Mon, Sep 29, 2008 at 10:19 PM, Lace4Blitz <Lace4Blitz@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> I lost my son to Trisomy 17 on 9-18-08.
>
> Tell me how do you cope with this loss. I am a mess. I cant think, i forget
> days. Life has come to a complete stop for me. I dont have the strength to
> go on. I hurt so bad I want to sleep all the time just to not have to deal
> with the pain. How do you all do it. What makes you get up and function
> everyday?
>
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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