[tri-wings] Allyson

Hi Allyson - glad you are back with us. I'm sure it was hard on ya'll - 
moving and all. At least you got to bring Emma back with you. I'll tell you 
what we did for Nicole's first anniversary of her death (and her birth).

On her first "birthday" - we had everyone who had been at the hospital with 
her on her final day and all the family and friends that wanted to come go 
out to her gravesight and we spoke, cried, and at exactly 10:08 (birth time) 
we released 40 something balloons! What a sight. Everyone brought some little 
memorial or flowers to place at her grave as well. Then back to our house, 
for a cake - that just said "Nicole - 1 year"
Not happy birthday. We had her pictures sitting around and I had made up a 
little packet with her picture and some poems on it for everyone. We just sat 
around, played some of her video tapes - where she was cooing to us (for the 
one and only time). It was a nice time and helped to have them around. There 
were tears - but there was also praising for the blessing the she was in our 
lives.

Then on her 1 yr. anniversary of her angel wings - just family (her sibs), 
and my family went out to her grave - putting some things on it and talking 
about her. Then back to our house. It was on Labor Day this past year - so my 
parents had driven  in from Florida to be with us as well as my sister and 
brother in law from Tenn. and my brother and sister in law from here.

Since you have no grave sight - have you thought about inviting close friends 
or family around you (don't know if you now have any here or are they in 
France?) - but you could set out her pictures,  and just have a get together 
and then release balloons.

We also planted her a garden in our back yard last year - and not sure what 
would grow or not - it was so uplifting this year to see so many things come 
back in her garden! We continually buy things to set in it as well - and when 
the city just ran new sewer lines thru our yard - I warned them about 
touching her garden and you know - they treated it with such respect. I 
really appreciated that. So this year we added more plants and more "things" 
- little girl with a kitten, butterflies, etc.

You may also want to donate a tree to a local park or even the public school 
where she could have attended later on in life.

Take some items needed to the NICU of your local hospital for parents and 
their newborns.

Whatever you do, and however you do it - will be right for you guys. You 
don't have to copy anyone else - it can be a day to share as you see fit - 
and be what you need.

Take care - hoping and praying you have an easy day. Be sure to look upward - 
for little Emma will be s miling down on you with all her little friends!

Lynn - mom to Nicole Faith 4/22-9/5/99
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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