[tri-wings] Re: 1st Christmas with an Angel (wasChristmas Card List)

On 10/27/06, mcs811@xxxxxxxxxxx <mcs811@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> We did a candle lighting with prayers and the girls bought small gifts for 
> him and we sent them up by balloon.  The past few years we have had Christmas 
> Eve at my house and last year my mom wanted to do it at her house.  John and 
> I were pretty insistant about having it here.  It was very hard but in the 
> end I am glad we did it.  Now this year if my mom wants to do it at her house 
> I am okay with it.

  I can't imagine how hard the first Christmas is for any of you that
were blessed enough to have your little ones on the holidays, so I
won't even act like I know how you felt or for some of you are going
to feel.  I just know from our experience of that first Christmas
without the baby that we were supposed to have.  It was sad, just like
all the firsts that year.  We were trying to have another little one
and it wasn't happening, I was getting older  - that month officially
meant that I would have to be 40 to have a child - major pit thought
AND I was supposed to have a 7 month old baby.  Plus, there is the
you're supposed to be joyful and keep things going for the other
children you have.  We also had the added bonus of the dear SIL that
was due anyday (the one that annouced the pregnancy at Jessica's
funeral) yeah!  ................and it's supposed to be Merry, with
empty arms and a damaged heart.  Somehow, we got through it, just as
all of you have or will.  Again, with time and practice - getting
through the next one isn't as bad.  Building new tradition helps alot.
 We started buying for a Giving Tree each year in honor of Jessica, we
try to find a child that would be her age.  We also give a teddy bear
to church for the police to give to scared children.  Last year when
we went to the cemetery on Christmas day we took her a teddy bear.  I
went and got it a few days later and gave it to Rylee.  When we went
up to Wisconsin, Mike's sister noticed the bear and commented on it, I
told her she could have it because it was Jessie's - she has claimed
Jessie for her own personal guardian angel because she was in a
horrible auto accident 2 years ago and she claims that she is here
because of Jessica.  So anyway, now she has a little piece of our
Christmas with Jessica.  So I'm thinking every year maybe we should
donate Jessie's teddy bear to the hospital or someone that might need
a guardian angel to pull them through.

Traditions can start at anytime, it makes the season brighter and
keeps our angels real.


-- 
hugs,
Deanna~~~~
mom to Nicole 18, Jake 14, Jessica 4, ( in Heaven 05/04/02) and Rylee 3 .

meet Jessica @ http://home.mchsi.com/~warpehoski

"I live in my own little world.  But it's ok, they know me here!"
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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