[tri-med] Re: when our children outlive us

In a message dated 08/31/2004 6:16:49 AM, claire@xxxxxxxxxxxx writes:

<< The transition may come 
when a parent can no longer care for the child maybe?
Debbie >>

Both Ali and Dom could have moved to group homes when they turned 18, but 
they were both still in high school and Dom had just returned home after three 
years in a residential treatment program due to the bipolar disorder. I was 
happy to have them at home. Last February, Dom chose to move into a level two 
group home, which means there is one staff person on hand to make sure mostly 
independent adults who may need minimal supervision get their meds and food. He 
is 
responsible for his own space and the shared bathroom, but since he is a wee 
bit on the lazy side, the house staff have usually given him some assistance 
with day to day chores. He pretty much is able to come and go as he pleases, 
but because he had a rather rocky summer, he is now a bit more limited in 
freedom. Ali remains at home for now, but there may be a time when it seems 
better 
for her to move on to an out of home placement. California's agency for those 
with developmental delays is Regional Center and since both kids are over 18, 
they would work with us for placement and funding (as they did with Dom). Right 
now, Dom is "between" jobs, but when he is working, his SSI goes lower. Dom 
tried junior college, and if he had been a bit more realistic about what he 
could do, he could have done ok. But he did not want to take any of the 
transition into college type courses for those with learning disabilities and 
jumped 
right into a child development class. If he had been willing to plan ahead a 
little, use the tutoring they offered and tape record lectures, he probably 
could 
have succeeded in that class, but he had the idea that if he was going to 
college, he would somehow magically be able to do it with no supports. After 
his 
third failed exam, he dropped the course.

Nan-mom to Dom, 20, tri 18 mosaic and bipolar; and Ali, 20 autism, TS, ADHD
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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