[tri-med] Re: [tri- family) Old Girls


In a message dated 2/22/03 8:19:11 AM, jwaite@xxxxxxxxxxxxx writes:

<< 

How much do you think is "typical" teen behavior Nan?


The past few weeks Alex has been a monster: nasty attitude, rude,

belligerent.......

Jim just keeps telling me that this is "good" because to some degree it's

part of "normal" development. ie: having his own mind/opinions etc. >>

It is hard to say. Dom really started acting out when he was about14. Part of 
it for him was the bipolar. But I think also he had reached a point where he 
just didn't want to be so different. That is when he refused to wear his 
Milwaukee Brace anymore, so we had to do the spinal surgery about four years 
sooner than the doc wanted. But there was nothing anyone could say to him 
that would change his mind. Also, I think on some level he was beginning to 
realize that he might never fit in. There is a lot of covert teasing that 
goes on in middle school and Dom never talked to me about it, but a couple of 
kids told me that it had happened after he was in residential treatment. Not 
wearing the lifts is probably part of that. We had to have shoes adapted for 
Dom so the lifts were built into his shoes and it wasn't a problem. But about 
a year after his surgery, the leg length discrepancy had lessened to the 
point where he only needed an insert lift. But for the past year he has 
decided that he doesn't want to wear it anymore, even though I tell him that 
he has a noticeble limp when he doesn't wear it. But, he can see the lift and 
it reminds him that he is a bit "different", but he can't "see" the limp, 
even though that makes him look even more different. Have you ever had any 
counseling for Alex? Since you still have the trisomy issue to deal with, 
maybe now would be a good time to get an outside third party to help prepare 
him (and you) for discussing it. And if Alex has anything to talk about, he 
might be more willing to discuss it with someone who is not Mom or Dad. No 
matter what, this is a tough age and I think most of us end up doing things 
by the seat of our pants. Keep in mind, we are breaking some new ground here. 
If I stop and think about it, there are some things I would have done 
differently, but I think about the same thing a day later and have a 
different idea about I shoulda, coulda woulda.

Nan---Mom to Dom, 19; Tri18 Mosaic, Bipolar Disorder and Ali, 19; Autism, TS, 
ADHD 
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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