[tri-med] Re: orthodontics

 
kaiya's grandma goes through these types of issues for two reasons i  
believe. she favors kaiya 1) because she is the daughter of her only biological 
 
daughter (lots of half and steps in my family) and 2) she favors her because 
she  
is "different". and you can probably add on that kaiya is favored because she  
lives with her grandma too... my mom used to feel guilty for spoiling kaiya 
but  the whole family does it because we just don't know how much time that 
we'll  have. 
 
kelly - mom to akaiya T18, 4 yrs old
 
p.s. if asked, my mother would never admit that she favors kaiya because  she 
is the daugher of her biological daughter....
 
 
In a message dated 4/23/2007 9:35:24 AM Central Daylight Time,  
saatsmom@xxxxxxxxxxx writes:

Michelle (Alex's mom), 

I'm just curious if Alex is aware  that he's "different" (for lack of better
term)? I worry about Julian  feeling that all the time. And I am curious from
all others on this list  about this: I am only  the grandma to Julian(mosaic
partial trisomy 1)  I have 2 other grandchildren that are not affected by
trisomies. I had a  huge fight with my son in law and one thing came out is
that I favor Julian  over their other child. (Julian is not the son in laws
biological child) I  accused the son in law of favoring his biological
daughter. It was a nasty  nasty fight but we both apologized later.   Sooo, I
believe I  don't love Julian any more than the other grandchildren but I do
feel a  need to protect him. I admit I do spend more time with him but I
thought it  was because the others are babies. I loved being a grandma but
nowI feel  it's a job and I have to make sure everything is absolutely equal
and  believe it or not, thats difficult to do.  How do you do that when  he
requires more time???  I'm so sad about it. Does anyone else go  thru this
andfeel the tremendous amount of guilt I feel?  Help!!  

Karen,( grandma to Julian,3 1/2 yrs old, mosaic partial trisomy 1).  grandma
to Lucy 1 yr old and Natalie  8 months old  




----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From:   "jwaite" <jwaite@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Reply-To:   tri-med@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
To:   <tri-med@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject:  [tri-med] Re:  orthodontics
Date:  Sat, 21 Apr 2007 08:40:05  -0400
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Karen"  <karens@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>People react to what they see,  especially first impressions. Often its not
>>even conscious. I think  that its this that makes it important for them to
>>have nice  teeth.
>
>So true.....unfair but that's the way it  is!
>
>We've just noticed that Alex's hair is thining on top. Like  he needs THAT
to
>make him even more 'different' compared to his  peers, on top of all the
>other issues.
>
>>As for not  being able to take care of their teeth well enough with
>>braces -  >phooey. Anyone who has typical kids of teen and pre teen  age
>>will tell you
>>its almost impossible to make sure  they brush and brush properly, with or
>>  > without  braces.
>
>With both Alex AND Molly, I was known to ocassionally  corner them in the
>bathroom (yes, as early teens!) and I would brush  their teeth. Molly did a
>better job than Alex so he got it more  often.
>  I didn't care how much they fussed, protested or tried to  avoid me, I
would
>give 'em a good brushing.
>"Mom, I 'm old  enough to brush my own teeth" was the common refrain.
>Do and good job  and I'm outta here was my reply.
>
>Alex tattled on me to the  orthodontist. Her reply? Good for your Mom, I
>brushed MY kids teeth too  when they had braces. lol
>Not the support he was looking  for.
>
>For those who don't know, our Alex has a double sharks row  of teeth and
they
>were jumbled and turned. Unsightly AND a messed up  bite.
>
>It took 4 YEARS of braces and 2 oral surgeries to get  them straightend out.
>Now, $8,000 later, I still harp on him to take  care of his oral
hygine!!!!!!
>
>Alex's teeth so bad that at  the initial consultation the orthodontist told
>us 'I'll be upfront with  you, Alex may lose some teeth since we have to
>shift/move them so  far'.
>She also told Alex, 'Well Alex, you are going to be one of   Dr. Sue's
>biggest challenges.'
>
>When he was finally done  the ortho had tears in her eyes and told me that
'I
>didn't even  dream or hope that his teeth would have turned out as well as
>they did.  I'd have been happy with less than we got!'.
>
>
>>BTW  Alex wants a new mum, he hates me because I made him clean up his  room
>>yesterday. Anyone up for the job? :-))))) Why do we have to  deal with the
>>teen angst as well as the  trisomy?
>
>There are time right now we're dealing with those  early teen 'issues' right
>now, just that developmental delay playing  with us.
>
>The older Alex gets the more it is apparent that he's  NOT developmentally
or
>emotionally 19 years old. It's like the gap  is getting wider and it's
really
>making it harder to deal with where  we are in our lives as a high
>functioning teen trier and  parents.
>
>Michelle mom to Alex (19, partial trisomy 14 mosaic)  and Molly (16)
>MichiganUSA
>
>
>       Building ___ooOOoo__  Rainbows
>                   www.trisomyonline.org
>         Families Helping Families  On-line
>


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