[tri-med] Re: orthodontics

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Karen T" <saatsmom@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> Michelle (Alex's mom),
> I'm just curious if Alex is aware that he's "different" (for lack of 
> better
> term)?

Yea, sometimes finding the 'better term' is difficult at best......trying to 
convey an idea but be tactful/politically correct!  lol

I had to stop and really think how to convey my answer, not always something 
easy to do with the written word.

The answer is both yes and no.

No in the respect that you can't miss something you don't know exists. Alex 
feels he's Alex, much the same way as most of us feel about ourselves. In 
that we are all different to some degree.

Also, Alex is much like his Daddy in temperament/emotions, very laid back 
and accepting of things. Alex's personality isn't one to dwell (not often 
anyhow) on the bad or negative.

I do believe that Alex internalizes some things, people who are mean/make 
disparaging comments etc hurt him but he doesn't get mad or complain. 
Sometimes I have to literally pull out of him what he feels about things. 
And often he doesn't quite now how he feels as he doesn't totally comprehend 
what 'it' (the situation, remarks etc) means.

Yes in the respect that he sees the differences especially when looking at 
his peers. They date, they grew tall (taller than Alex is anyhow, and that 
can be relative), they grasp more of the nuances of discussions and life.
Alex recognizes that he doesn't have some of what most others have. Hope I'm 
making sense here!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex has developed coping skills. He'll laugh at things, appropriately, 
while not understanding what's funny. Took me a while to catch him on that.

If Jim, Molly and I are having a fast paced and revolving conversation on 
say, politics or science, Alex 99% of the time doesn't have a clue as to 
what we are talking about. But he listens and occasionally asks a question 
or makes a comment (often not one that's on point or makes sense in the 
scheme of the discussion). He doesn't appear to feel left out.

In many ways Alex is more like an 8-10 year old in his general life 
knowledge and conversational abilities. "Deep" discussions tend to go over 
his head.

Alex is certainly a more compassionate and understanding teen compared to 
many of his peers though.  :0)   He has an innate ability to see 
the.......humanity....of individuals.
There have even been times when someone has dised him (quite obviously) but 
Alex will say "maybe he's having a bad day". In that respect he's a better 
person than I am!!!!!!!!!

In many ways Alex is, and it appears to probably be a life long thing, a 
youngster. He sees the world in that way and thinks in that manner. But it's 
all he 'knows'........and most of the time he's fairly content with his 
place in the world.

Alex does know of his genetic status, something we waited to explain to him 
3-4 years ago. I don't think he completely grasped the whole picture, of 
course, we also explained that EVERYONE is different and that some people 
have issues that he doesn't (in terms of general population, like accidents, 
abuse, self-destructive behavior).

Gee, I hope that I've explained this somewhat coherently! It's a hard 
concept/situation to explain in one e-mail.

If you/anyone else have questions, please ask.

Michelle mom to Alex (19, partial trisomy 14 mosaic) and Molly (16)
MichiganUSA



                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
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