[tri-med] Re: With shock and great sorrow....

My prayers are with Keren and your family in the days to come.
Vicki Christensen, mom to Luke partial t-14
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Loren Warnemuende" <lorenwarn@xxxxxxxxx>
To: <tri-family@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Cc: <Tri-Med@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, January 30, 2009 12:34 AM
Subject: [tri-med] With shock and great sorrow....


> Dear Friends,
> 
> I've been in deep lurk for a long time, not because things have been  
> difficult, but because things have been VERY status quo, busy, and  
> full of joy. Our three girls have been growing like weeds. The  
> younger girls, Clare and Evvie (3 1/2 years and 22 months) have been  
> keeping Kraig and me on our toes with everything they've been  
> learning (and testing us with!). Keren (6 1/4 years, T18) has been  
> growing so much physically and in every area. She's been thriving at  
> school, and losing her baby teeth like mad (and getting some new  
> ones). Driving us crazy with some silly self-stims like poking her  
> eye or gouging her gums, but for the most part full of huge hugs and  
> squeezes, accompanied by laughs, squeals and sloppy kisses. ...And  
> we've been gearing up to announce to everyone our crazy, happy news  
> that we're about 13 weeks into expecting number four!!!
> 
> And then Wednesday of this week, January 28, the unthinkable,  
> unbelievable happened: We lost our Keren-girl....
> 
> She'd come down with one of her typical bug/colds Sunday--fever with  
> some congestion. Her norm with a "bad" one is that she'll have the  
> fever and cold for a few days, then it turns into sinusitis of an  
> infection of that sort, she goes on antibiotics, end of story. I  
> guess God had different plans this time. Her fever was manageable,  
> but constant from Sunday on, but though the congestion seemed to  
> clear up Monday Keren kind of slept non-stop Monday-on. That was a  
> bit strange. I talked with the doctor's office Tuesday afternoon  
> (third day in) and the nurse and I agreed that since the fever was  
> controlled by meds, we'd just set up an appointment for Wednesday and  
> bring her in if the fever hadn't broken. Wednesday morning I got  
> Keren up from bed to get a bath and as I washed her, I noticed her  
> breathing change--really labored and awful, almost obstructing, but  
> she wouldn't cough anything up (very unusual for her....). I quickly  
> got her back into bed with her cpap/sleep apnea machine, and that  
> improved her color, but she was still just breathing through her  
> mouth (had been doing that). Called the doc's office and they said,  
> yes, bring her in now, but if anything changed to take her  
> immediately to emergency. My sister was able to get over within ten  
> minutes to watch the younger girls, so I packed Keren up, along with  
> her cpap (we have a power inverter in the car) and took off.
> 
> Wednesday here was one of our snowy days--it was going like fury (of  
> course). I quick called my OB's office to cancel what was to be my 12  
> week appointment that morning, and canceled one other appt. Keren was  
> to have. Throughout, I could hear Keren's labored breathing. We were  
> less than a mile from home when I realized that I didn't here her any  
> more. I got off the road, and got to her, and she was completely  
> unresponsive. My brain was frozen--I could hardly think enough to  
> figure out if she had a pulse, and I didn't want to take the time. I  
> just laid her down on the floor, hoping she'd breathe better that  
> way, turned the car toward our nearby urgent care and called 911.  
> They had paramedics meet up with us before we got to urgent care.  
> Amazingly swift. After a few minutes of working on her in the  
> ambulance, they told me which hospital they were taking her to. I had  
> the choice of going with her or driving myself, and I chose to drive.  
> Isn't it strange. It's one of those choices that I think is probably  
> vastly different for each of us. I think I knew I'd be in the way in  
> ambulance, that I needed space to think, pray, call Kraig, etc. I  
> wonder now if it was mostly because that strange, unresponsive little  
> girl they had taken from my car was NOT my Keren. I think my Keren  
> was already gone...
> 
> As I drove to the hospital (don't worry, I was a good girl and didn't  
> try to keep up with the ambulance....), I kept praying, "Lord, please  
> don't let this be it," but at the same time I had an unshakeable  
> peace that if this WAS it, God was with us and Keren, and had us in  
> His hand. When I got to the hospital, the doctor and nurses were with  
> me in minutes. They explained that they had been administering CPR,  
> meds, and ventilator on Keren for a full hour by that point (can an  
> hour be so fast?), and she had not responded once. The diagnosis was  
> a respiratory arrest, that went into cardiac arrest. I was basically  
> faced with the words, "Within minutes we need to stop. There's  
> nothing more we can do...." Tried to process it all--even asked point- 
> blank if any of this would be different if she wasn't trisomy. They  
> hadn't even had her medical history as they worked on her. I called  
> Kraig and he was already on the road from work, and my brother-in-law  
> was there right as they took me to Keren. My bro-in-law has done EMS  
> work, and got to talk to the EMS workers right there, confirming for  
> us that they had done all they could.
> 
> So that's it. I got to weep on my girl. Kraig arrived, then more  
> family and close friends, pastor from church, were all there with  
> their arms around us. It's been like that since. We came home to more  
> food already than we could imagine at the house, with my sister and  
> close family friends doing laundry and running herd on our little  
> girls. Two of Kraig's three siblings are right here in town, and were  
> over most of the day. Amazingly, Kraig's dad is here this week from  
> his work overseas, and my youngest sister is home from grad school  
> out east. My other sis and her husband were supposed to be in  
> Maryland by now for a new job, but the process has been slower than  
> expected, so they're still here. My parents had just left on vacation  
> Sunday, and flew back immediately, and Kraig's mom is flying in from  
> overseas. His other brother and family arrive in the morning. Our  
> church, within hours, had set-up a meals and child-care coordinator,  
> and the love has been overflowing. The hardest phone call that I  
> wanted to make myself was to Keren's teacher to let them know.... Oh,  
> that was awful. I think that's one of the hardest things--letting all  
> those who have known and loved Keren know that she's gone....
> 
> I'm in process mode, or something like that at the moment. I'm  
> finding I want to just keep moving and planning, and talking the  
> whole thing through. I'm letting the emotions come when they come,  
> and avoiding the "what if" game with a vengeance.... Keren's  
> pediatrician called us Wednesday night, and it was so reassuring to  
> talk it through with him and here him say we had done everything that  
> could have been done, and what would we have done differently? I  
> slept horribly Wednesday night--not surprising. I was doing much  
> better tonight, but Ev was crying since she crawled our of her  
> covers, and after I tucked her in, my brain wouldn't shut off. I've  
> been wanting to write all this down, and now seemed ideal.... Kraig's  
> hanging in there. Keren was so much her girl--he's been wrapped  
> around her finger since she first grasped his in the NICU six years  
> ago.... The little girls are coping in their ways. Evelyn isn't too  
> phased, but the first night she kept pointing at Keren's bed going  
> "Sissy! Sissy!" Finally I put her on the bed, and she immediately  
> grabbed Keren's pillow and crawled under the sheets. That's where she  
> wanted to sleep. Clare has been going through the round of emotions.  
> I can't imagine how hard it must be for a 3 1/2 year old to process  
> this. Keren has always been in her life.... On the one hand, Clare is  
> thrilled that Keren can now walk, and talk, and have her new house  
> with Jesus (a concept that we've built on a lot since we moved into  
> our new house a year ago. It connected with a Bible story we read  
> about Jesus making a new home for us in heaven, and when it's ready,  
> he calls us there. That's made a lot of sense to Clare, though she  
> often has said, "But I don't want to die! I like THIS house." Can't  
> argue with that logic!). On the other hand, she hits those awful  
> moments where she breaks down and wants to know when Sissy will be  
> home, and says, "But I want TWO sisters!" Oh, I couldn't agree more....
> 
> Phew, sorry, this is a long one.
> 
> We've got the service arranged for Sunday afternoon. You can actually  
> see Keren and the service info at rggharris.com (go to "Keren  
> Warnemuende").
> 
> I will REALLY try to keep you posted.
> 
> This list has been such a help and comfort to us from day one. I'm  
> sorry I haven't been able to be more active on it in recent years....  
> Thank you in advance for all your thoughts and prayers....
> 
> Love,
> Loren, wife to Kraig, mom to Keren Elyse (T18, 9/27/02~1/28/09),  
> Clarissa Joanne (7/17/05), Evelyn Ruth (4/26/07) and baby due (EDD  
> 8/6/09).
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
>                       www.trisomyonline.org
>                  Families Helping Families On-line
> 
>
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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