[tri-med] We finally told Alex

Well, we finally did it! It's been something on our minds for a bit now and
then last week a "lurker" contacted me about the upcoming "Michigan
mini-conference" and had some thoughts/suggestions/stories about her
situation/family. It really germinated the idea of telling Alex about the
trisomy.

Later that night I talked with Jim and we thought that since Molly was gone
on this camping trip with a friend it might be a good time. So Saturday an
opportune moment came up while we were discussing meeting Jennifer and Loren
plus kids this week.

It went as you might expect.
At first Alex couldn't figure out where we were going with the discussion.
Next he looked stunned.
After that came tears.
The explosive anger and resentment were up next. He was furious with Jim and
I for not telling him earlier.

It was a few hours before he would look at us and talk to us. By bedtime
that night he was much calmed down. The next day I broached the subject
again to see if there were other thoughts and how he was feeling. And I did
the same the next day again. Alex brought up the topic himself last night
while we were playing cards after Jim's Mom came over.

We didn't go into dire details and Alex didn't have many questions. One was
if his height (or lack thereof) was the result of the trisomy. The thing we
stressed was that KNOWING about the trisomy didn't change who he was or how
he was. That was all the same as the day before he found out his genetic
status.

Alex says he understands our reasons for not telling him earlier and that we
were doing what we thought was best for HIM at the time.

The jury is still out on when to tell Molly. The biggest fear is that the
blabber mouth wouldn't keep it to herself or use it as a sibling war weapon.
:0)  She is after all only 12.

If anyone has any suggestions or ideas on follow up I'd love to hear them!

Michelle mom to Alex (16,partial trisomy 14 mosaic) and Molly (12)
MichiganUSA




                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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